While we can't be doing with those indefensible types who'll only want margherita when it comes to ordering pizza, we also have limits on how much customisation is acceptable. It seems as if these limits aren't shared by all.
Around the world, the sacred pizza has been blasphemously remixed into some mind-boggling dishes. Here are some of the strangest. Your mind is about to boggle, honest.
Near the end of a particularly large pizza, you might be tempted to focus purely on picking off the remaining slices of meat, rather than messing with any more of that dough stuff. What the meatzza does it imagine a world where meat is the only ingredient and you'd literally be forced to eat every last bite. It contains roast beef, buffalo chicken, sausage, sliced ham, bacon, fried hot dogs, chicken nuggets, meat sauce, pepperoni and (cheat) cheese.
Ever just hate how awkward pizza is to eat? Ever wish it was, well, more cone-shaped? Despite most people answering no to both of those questions, someone still thought it was wise to create the Conizza. Literally a pizza in a cone, it's an admirably pointless idea. Here's a confusingly over-enthused ad which bizarrely recommends dancing with a Conizza in your hand. Couldn't do that with a pizza, eh?
The Meta Pizza
Pretty much the Scream 4 of pizzas, this one is the ultimate post-modern cheese-covered in-joke. You see, it's all your favourite pizzas inside another pizza. It's a pizza that's referencing pizza. Who knew pizzas had such a fantastic sense of humour?
The Royal Wedding Pizza
Oh the Royal Wedding. Remember back in April when the whole world lost their minds for a week? Well, even pizzas weren't safe as this faintly terrifying idea reminds us. Papa Johns created this tribute pizza that recreated the lucky couple out of ham, olives, peppers and other classic ingredients. They claimed that it tasted as good as it looked. Which doesn't bode well...
The Shrimp Crust Pizza
When it comes to crusts, we're all about disguising the problem. Stuffing it, dipping it, even binning it, we'll do anything to prevent eating bland dough. Taking this about 16 steps further, the Japanese created this pizza that has shrimp baked into breakable pieces around the edge. Screw you, crust!
The Cheese Burger Pizza
This monstrosity is the edible equivalent of a car crash; we know it's wrong but we just can't stop staring. It's also making us feel hungry, which in turn is making us feel guilty, which in turn is making us feel even hungrier. You see it's like a burger but the pizzas are used as the bun. Yep, still staring.
The TMNT Pizzas
Taking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles seriously isn't always wise. Try asking a rat for advice in real life and you'll probably get spat at or infected with the plague. Undeterred by common sense, a group of fans decided to create some of Michelangelo's most daring of pizza recipes and then actually eat them with their own mouths. Some of the "highlights" included strawberry and anchovy sauce, chocolate fudge, sardine, chilli pepper and whipped cream and peanut butter and clams (shown above). You can see the disgusting video proof here.
The Pizza Royale 007
It's time for the most expensive ever entry on the list. This extravagant pizza was worth around £2,000 when it was created back in 2007. It was topped with edible gold, lobster marinated in cognac, champagne-soaked caviar, Scottish smoked salmon and medallions of venison. So, really expensive but also really inedible. We'll happily be too poor for that one.
The 54" by 54" Pizza
Holding the record for the largest ever deliverable pizza (if you have a wide enough door that is), this mammoth meal is offered up by Big Mama's and Papa's Pizzeria. Due to its size, you'll need to give 24 hours notice and there's a $200 price to pay. It will serve around 50-70 people though so, unless you have more friends than we do, you'll be eating cold pizza for the next couple of weeks.
The Chocolate and Marshmallow Pizza
Sweet pizza isn't a massive stretch as there's a fineish line between dough and pastry. We're therefore shocked but not appalled by this concoction from Max Brenner's in New York. Americans like putting marshmallows on even weirder things than dough (like sweet potatoes for Christ's sake) so we can just about cope with this.
(Images: Rex Features, This Is Why You're Fat, YouTube, Nick Sherman)