Oh, hey! Here to dive into a treasure trove of the best stuff on Shortlist.com this week, are ya? Well, if you are, then you can find it below; if you’re not, well, THE EXIT’S OVER THERE, NO-SHOW.
David Beckham looked like an almighty steed descended from the Heavens at that wedding that was on telly last weekend
Look at the pictures of him here, and then decide that no, you will never be that flawless and that yes, you are 2018’s answer to Stig of the Dump
The Muppets are back and this time they are swearing, murdering and doing loads of drugs (which is good, now)
Watch the trailer for The Happytime Murdershere, and chisel off a thin slice of your childhood while you’re at it
It turns out that BBQs are not just for meat, because you can actually, literally put vegetables and weird things like ‘eggs’ on them too!
Read our list of mint vegetarian BBQ dishes, curated by big dog chefs here, and then attempt to recreate one at home, destroying your house and more upsettingly, your eyebrows, in the process
The fancy dress game has just gone up a level
Click here to see hands-down the greatest Transformers fancy dress you have ever clapped your as-yet-uninitiated eyes on, and prepare to feel jealously of a might and power that you have never before experienced
It looks like handsome actor man Jake Gyllenhaal is going to be in the next Spider-Man movie, which will interest a predicted 64% of the people who read this sentence and that’s the kind of gamble worth making in the cut-throat world of online journalism
Head on over here to find out exactly what we know about the mysterious villain known as Mysterio (probably why he’s so mysterious)
George R.R. Martin, the man who wrote all of those Game of Thrones novels, is writing a new movie which yes, put your pants back on, is about dragons again
If you like dragons and you know it, click on this
Clothes make you look very nice and also stop you from being arrested whenever you go to get a loaf of bread
So if you don’t fancy having to regularly sign your name on a list, here’s a bunch of really really cool things to make you look decent (in both senses of the word) in public
Gin and tonic in a can is nice
So it is
Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, has a new show up his sleeve, and it - PUT THOSE PANTS BACK ON, WE WON’T ASK YOU AGAIN - will be about dragons
Click your little mousey-wousey right here to read about Disenchantment, which is Groening’s take on fantasy tropes (there hasn’t actually been confirmation of dragons in the show, but sometimes you’ve got to assume these things for the benefit of a trite and desperate attempt at a callback in that headline)
The director of The Human Centipede has promised that his next film will be even more disgusting, which presumably means that even fewer people will watch it than Human Centipede 3
If you like that sort of thing, which you probably do, you muckrake, then you can read all about The Onania Clubhere
Eminem has been a very nasty man in his time, so why not celebrate it, eh?
It’s the 18th anniversary (how arbitrary!) of The Marshall Mathers LP, so here’s a big old list of the people he was mean to on it!
Remember that dumb idiot in Return Of The Jedi that fell into that big sandpit and died? Well, he’s back and he’s got a new movie
Yep, Boba Fett is getting a solo movie, which will presumably be a 90-minute You’ve Been Framed-style montage of him falling into various large holes, directed by James Mangold
See you next week!