Love butter? Boy, does this Mayfair members club have the job for you...

There are job listings. And then there are job listings that make you briefly question your entire career trajectory.

An exclusive new members’ club called The Pembroke Club is preparing to open its doors in Belgravia, London, later this year, and it’s currently on the hunt for a butter sommelier.

Spotted in the pages of Country Life (where else?) and also doing the rounds on LinkedIn for the terminally ambitious, the half-page advert lays it out in unapologetically glossy detail. The successful candidate must possess a “deep love for, and understanding of, butter” and, crucially, an “encyclopaedic knowledge of toast”.

We’re not talking about someone who just knows their way around Lurpak. This is full dairy devotion. The butter sommelier will curate the club’s butter assortment, source “exceptional” examples, educate members on provenance and fat content, and run dedicated tastings. There will, we’re told, be an actual butter programme. A curriculum. Presumably with modules.

We’ve got sommeliers for wine. Baristas for coffee. Experts for olive oil, salt and water if you look hard enough. So why not butter? In an age of hyper-specialisation, members apparently don’t just want good, they want curated, considered and delivered with a side of provenance chat.

No salary has been listed, which feels both mysterious and ominous. Either way, if you’ve been quietly ranking butters in your head for years, this could be your moment.

The club isn’t stopping at dairy dominance, either. It’s also recruiting a “sports tzar” to ensure the nine screens in its billiards room are tuned to the correct sporting events at all times, a role that could spark more internal diplomacy than the Foreign Office. For those looking to network with intent, there’ll also be a club matchmaker tasked with facilitating “lasting friendships or indeed something more”. Subtle.

The Pembroke Club is set to open at 6–7 Grosvenor Place in Belgravia. Which means that somewhere behind those polished doors, very soon, someone will be wheeling out a silver trolley and discussing fat percentages with deadly seriousness.

Honestly? Fair play. In a world that feels increasingly mad, there’s something oddly comforting about knowing someone is taking toast quite this seriously.

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