As of yet, we haven’t had the pleasure of welcoming president Donald Trump to our shores.
For some reason, the British public haven’t really taken too kindly to the failed-businessman-turned-reality-star-turned-politician and his frequent pronouncements on what British life is like. Of course, he famously told us to “focus on the destructive Radical Islamic Terrorism that is taking place within the United Kingdom” rather than apologise for retweeting fake, racist missives from the far-right group Britain First, while only this week he was tweeting nonsense about the NHS, which achieved the unlikely feat of uniting both Conservatives and Labour in pointing out just how wrong he was.
And one of his, and other far-right figures’ favourite yarns is to tell us all about ‘no-go zones’ in the UK, where supposedly sharia law is in operation and the streets aren’t safe. One of these is apparently the borough of Tower Hamlets, in the east end of London.
As someone who has lived in London their whole life, in places all across it, let me tell you: it’s total bollocks.
But don’t just take it from me; security specialist Dan Kaszeta decided to take a walk around Tower Hamlets and document it on Twitter, just to see how frightening and dangerous it was out there. So sit back, and prepare yourself for the uncontrolled carnage you’re about to witness.
Then one arrives at lunch. 1 Michelin star, but surprisingly affordable for all that, if you stick to the set menu. The high end is, well, pretty high though. Note presence of non-halal meats, and wine. Oh the wine. Lovely stuff. pic.twitter.com/K1iAhy5hpT— Dan Kaszeta (@DanKaszeta) February 1, 2018
Inspired by Dan, Luton-based writer Mike Stuchberry decided to embark on a similar quest in his town:
I walk down the side-street leading to the main strip, past two young men in traditional... Muslim dress. One turns to the other conspiratorially:— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
"Yusef, you deserve to be treated better than than that by her."
At last, I am in the belly of the beast. But where is everyone? There are just spicy pizza hawkers playing their trade.— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
No sinister crowds of bearded men eyeing my warily, no flocks of women in abeya milling about submissively.
It's too quiet. pic.twitter.com/sswgSr2xYY
I am withdrawing money for next week's bus ticket. I will see if I am charged the 'jizya' that infidels are placed under in areas of Sharia law.— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
We'll this is disappointing. No sideways glances, no hissed curses, no roaming gangs of young men telling people what to do.— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
FFS, I haven't even heard any other languages than English!
I've literally run out of Bury Park to walk. I've tried desperately to find anything intimidating or threatening.— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
It's just a local community hub, with Britons of all colours sharing what makes their background special.
To be honest, I felt more threatened walking to the bus stop in Dunstable.— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
So, hey, listen, next time @MarkACollett, @TaraMcCarthy444, @LauraLoomer, @TomiLahren, @PNehlen, @RaheemKassam @KTHopkins, @TRobinsonNewEra, @PrisonPlanet, @CaolanRob or any other Crowdfunded Racist shrieks at you about #NoGoZones, tell them to *massively* get fucked...— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) February 2, 2018
Of course, will this be enough to silence the trolls? As one American explained, sadly, probably not.
American chiming in. This thread was delightful since I have no idea where this place is but it looks quite lovely. I can also picture some bloated @FoxNews viewer loudly exclaiming why you are wrong because they follow the British First party and they have FACTS.— Educator (@JRCerasuolo) February 3, 2018
I've seen some of them saying the same sort of stuff about Islington. *Islington*. 😂— Stephen the feline enthusiast (@stevethecatnut) February 2, 2018
I got mugged in Islington once - they held me down and forced a quiche and a quinoa salad into my bag.— Stephen the feline enthusiast (@stevethecatnut) February 2, 2018
Be careful out there. Those streets are wild guys.