Netflix, normally, equals unparalleled excellence. Christmas, normally, equals can’t-really-go-wrong festive cheer and a very forgiving attitude. Rom-coms, normally, equals something we all enjoy wholeheartedly. Sliding Doors? Yes, please. Love Actually? Wore out the DVD so I had to buy another one, next question.
But Christ on a bike, I was not prepared for this.
As my other half put on The Christmas Wedding Planner for a bit of easy-watching fluff, I didn’t complain, but I was not to know what a televisual atrocity was about to be served up before my eyes.
This, my dear, dear friends, is the worst film I have ever seen in my life. No one in it can act, the plot is beyond ludicrous, the ending even-beyond-the-wildest-dreams-of-ludicrous-if-ludicrous-was-having-a-particularly-ludicrous-dream; it is so bad it’s worth watching it just to experience the full horror, just like those who survive war say that their spell on the battlefield was the time they felt most thrillingly alive. It makes Sharknado look like The Godfather.
Here’s the trailer, which gives you a tantalising glimpse of the incredibly beautiful people who cannot act in the slightest on offer in this gloriously atrocious movie:
The ‘plot’ is described thus:
“Wedding Planner, Kelsey Wilson, is about to have her big break: planning her beloved cousin’s lavish and exclusive wedding. Everything is going smoothly until Connor McClane, a devilishly handsome private investigator, shows up and turns Kelsey’s world upside-down. Hired by a secret source, Connor quickly disrupts the upcoming nuptials but wins Kelsey’s heart in the process.”
Naturally, upon finishing the film, I headed over to imdb to see if I was alone in my appraisal.
I have rarely seen such an engaged audience.
Among the more positive reviews were these:
Naturally, you’re all going to watch this movie, but in the unlikely event that you don’t, as previously mentioned, the ending is where it all really comes together.
These two reviews do a better job than I ever could of explaining the true glory of the finale:
I’ve changed my mind: if this doesn’t make the cut for the Oscars then there is something deeply wrong with the movie industry.
10 popcorns out of 10, would watch again - and Anges Beibi agrees with me.
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