It’s almost unbelievable but the iconic, animated franchise Toy Story has been a part of our lives for more than 20 years. Entering cinemas in 1995, the first of the Pixar films brought us the heartwarming story of Woody (voiced by Tom Hanks), Buzz (Tim Allen) and the rest of the pint-sized gang. Personally, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the scrappy, endlessly loyal Slinky Dog.
But prepare to have all those fuzzy childhood memories totally destroyed because one Twitter user has shared a frankly horrible story about something his daughter apparently said while watching the film.
Honestly, just take a second to compose yourself, because this is brutal.
Baron Stigmund said: “My daughter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldn’t know and he’d carry on playing with its corpse.”
The reaction to the tweet ranged from bewildered to generally horrified:
And as if that’s not enough, here are some other fan theories that will make you rethink everything you ever loved about the film.
1. The toys in Toy Story are immortal
Redditor u/nameless88 shared this theory about the franchise:
“The toys in toy story are immortal. They can’t die. I mean, they can be crushed or incinerated, but they will never die of old age.
“So, what does this mean for our heroes? They will outlive every owner they have, the story of Andy growing up and leaving their lives will continue ad nauseum until the last of humanity is gone, or the toys have all been incinerated.”
2. It’s all a socialist metaphor
Also on Reddit, u/imbackagainbros said: “Andy is a capitalist while Sid is a fascist/corporatist.
“Nothing intrinsically prevents the toys from misbehaving and showing aliveness when Andy or Sid are around. There’s just a cultural taboo that ensures that a toy doesn’t show life, but rather, obeys ‘job creators’ like Andy or Sid as simple puppets, despite actually being alive. The toys are not aware of their class interest.
“The toys however, only rise up and revolt when they are pushed too far, which happened when Sid wanted to sacrifice Buzz, likely a metaphor for war. At the end of Toy Story 1, a strike happens. The toys don’t physically attack Sid, they merely use the powers he gave them through his sick experiments on them. Like a group of French truck drivers who can paralyze an economy by parking their trucks on a highway, the toys merely have to demonstrate that they can control the powers Sid gave them by themselves, to make Sid panic and give up on hurting and abusing them for a while. The toys then go back to behaving as ever before, happily submitting to their beloved ‘job creators’.”
3. Toy Story is a secret weapon of the Illuminati
In a blog post, David B said: “You should be able to recognize that the Toy Story 3 plot is clever predictive programming of what the Illuminati want to do.
“Like Buzz Lightyear, it may well be that some of our own neighbours have been undergone mind control and will serve the new government to spy and oppress the rest of us.”
We never knew people were reading so much into these kids’ films. So does this mean Minions is actually a metaphor for rampant, out-of-control drug-fuelled orgies? And don’t even get us started on Shrek! Disgusting.