Judd Apatow movies are chocker block with advice. Whether you follow that advice, however, is entirely and utterly up to you. You can see where we're going here, can't you? We're distancing ourselves from the following pearls of (potential) wisdom from Superbad.
So please, don't shoot the messenger. Just shoot the flaming cop car, pistol held sideways. "Tight..."
(Images: Rex/YouTube)
1.
"Read a fucking book for once"
Fogell
2.
"Ya see, Michaels, when ever there's a call for a bar, you take it"
Officer Slater
3.
"Stay out of bars"
Officer Michaels
4.
"Take a bit from every bottle"
Seth
5.
"I'm stepping up. And once I'm up, I don't step back down"
Seth
6.
"You said you'd do it, so do it"
Evan
7.
" Fuck thinking! We need to act!"
Seth
8.
"Just like a woman. Even after you're dead, they want to tear your heart out"
Officers Michaels and Slater
9.
"Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam"
Seth
10.
"Take off that vest. You look like Aladdin"
Evan
11.
"Chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe"
Evan
12.
"You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours"
Jules
13.
""You don't want to meet a chick in a bar man...you gotta go to other places. You gotta go to spin class, a farmer's market...just somewhere social, non-threatening"
Officer Michaels
14.
"You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome"
Seth
15.
"Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times"
Officer Michaels
16.
"I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work"
Seth
17.
"People don't forget"
Seth
18.
"It's just beer"
Officer Michaels
19.
"I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all"
Evan
20.
"Enjoy your remaining years"
Seth
