No, we weren't at Glastonbury either. We have no war stories concerning trench foot or cider prices, and our view of Kanye's gig wasn't compromised by a indecipherable flag.
But while the majority of the internet marvelled at the entertainment value of a lighting rig and turned their Facebook profile picture into a rainbow flag, two other stories (of far lesser significance) went sorely overlooked.
Tale of the tape
It's easy to mock the Royal Mail. That birthday present from 2005 still hasn't surfaced, there was that one Christmas ruined by a strike, and you're still feeling pretty cheesed about missing out on their public stock offering. But the much maligned work force of the Royal Mail announced a cause for celebration by revealing that dog attacks on their workers have fallen by 10 percent in the last year.
Around 3,000 postal workers were still set upon by vicious pets in the last 12 months, equating to eight posties being attacked by badly trained dogs every day. Changes to the Dangerous Dogs Act has allowed the Royal Mail to step up legal proceedings against dog owners whose pets attack people on their property (except trespassers), with a 62 percent increase in court cases involving attacks by dogs in the six months to December 2014. If your dog were to savage a postal worker doing their job, it could land you with a five year prison sentence.
So before you have a good snigger at the idea of a postman being chased down a garden path in something akin to a scene from the Beano, just think about how grateful you are there's someone out there putting up with poorly behaved pets to get that next Amazon parcel to your door less than 24 hours after you ordered it.
Who: Niklas Ajo
We learnt three new things on Sunday. One of them was the existence of the Moto3 Championship, a category of motorcycle racing that sits two rungs lower than Moto GP. Another was that Niklas Ajo, a 20-year-old Finish motorcycle racer, races in said league. Finally, we learnt that you don't have to finish a Moto3 race while seated on your bike.
It looked to all the world like Ajo was set to crash out of the weekend's Dutch GP when his KTM bike bucked into the final corner. Ajo was thrown from his seat as he failed to control the power of his bike - but refused to submit to his apparent fate. With his hands still securely on the handlebars, legs dragging along the right-hand-side of the bike, Ajo managed to remain in control of the bike and finish the race on his knees.
The incident saw him slip from eighth to 17th position, but ensured he would feature in countless pub quizzes in decades to come.