You, as a cool, hip dude with your finger firmly on the pulse, probably subscribe to at least one music streaming service - Spotify, Apple Music, Deezer, Tidal etc - but do you have room for one more? Go on, fit one more in. Just a wafer thin mint? Or what about a gargantuan behemoth?
Well, YouTube reckon you have space for the latter, because they’re introducing YouTube Music. That’s right, they’re stepping into the ring with the big dogs, and they’re swinging their fists in every possible direction.
But what’s different? Why should you, who is happily subscribed to Spotify, cancel that subscription, and flip on over to YouTube Music?
Well, what if we present to you the case for, and against, the switch? Would that help? Damn right it will.
Here’s what YouTube Music has that the other bozos don’t
Sure, Spotify has all that business sorted too, but YouTube Music promises an even more specific homepage for you. Everyone’s will be different, and it’ll harness your YouTube history, as well as Google’s massive (and terrifying) amount of information on you, to really cater to your tastes. This will even stretch to the time of day it is (morning commute playlists often being starkly different to afternoon ones) or where you are (at the gym, for example). It’s frightening, but good frightening.
Its new releases section will be actually new
The problem with many streaming services is it’s hard to find the new releases you want unless you specifically go looking for them, artist-by-artist. YouTube Music’s plan is to sort this out and make sure all the up-to-date stuff is thrust your way as soon as it hits the service - this means sticking it all on your personalised homepage so you see it first.
Music streaming is great, but it’s just for your ears - what are you supposed to do with your eyes? Look out the window? I highly doubt that, granddad. Well, YouTube Music has access to YouTube, doesn’t it, so listen to a song and you’ll automatically have the option to get to the music video or any live performances of it you might want to watch. You can also pay a few squid extra and get full access to YouTube Red, for premium video content. YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO LOOK OUTSIDE EVER AGAIN!
It’ll work as a sort of news service for music
If some hot-shit popstar bangs out a secret music video at midnight, it’ll be there on your homepage in the morning - they’re committed to make sure you know exactly what’s going on in the music world at all times. It’s like Twitter, but for sounds.
Here’s what YouTube Music doesn’t have that the other bozos do
There is no Discover Weekly
What is the only good thing about Mondays? It is Discover Weekly, isn’t it? Mondays are terrible, horrible gremlins that are only worth enduring for the wonder that is Spotify’s Discover Weekly - a big old playlist of stuff that you ain’t heard before, that you’ll probably like. Sure, sometimes they get it wrong, but for the most part, it’s a wonderful slice of musical exploration. Unfortunately, YouTube Music will not have this at the beginning, although there are plans for something similar in the future. Good luck living through Monday with YouTube Music, basically.
There is no voice control
But that doesn’t matter because nobody uses this and you’re lying if you say you do.
That’s about your lot, really - there are other promises like “it’ll be on the side of the artists” and all that PR lark, but it remains to be seen how they’ll hold up that end of the bargain. Wait and see, I guess.
Either way, it’s launching on May 22 and will most likely be a tenner a month - similar to existing services. So will you switch? Or are you already in a very loving and highly-sexed relationship with Spotify or Apple? One that brings you so much happiness that you don’t even look at other streaming services? Promise! Stop accusing me! OK fine! I admit I did a trial with one of them, but it wasn’t full payment - it didn’t even count!