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74 per cent of the British public think having a pint at lunch is 'unacceptable'

Because 74 per cent of Britain is a lame-ass nerdlord

74 per cent of the British public think having a pint at lunch is 'unacceptable'
11 November 2016

It’s often said that beer, like sushi, like Mad Men, is one of those things you have to “learn to like”. Before it even first touches your tongue you recoil like “What is this heinous stuff? And why does it smell like my dad?” But with time, like sushi, sorta like Mad Men, you grow to appreciate it. Like it. Hell, some of you may even love it.

A pint at lunch is a sacred thing. A precious pressure valve. A delicious lance to the boil of office drudgery. “Quick pint at lunch?” someone messages you at 11.11 – that time of day when angels are watching over you – and you quickly flick through the To Do list in your mind and say “YES. PLEASE. OH GOD YEAH SURE. I’LL BUY YOU ONE EVEN.” Like taking an extra-long toilet break, it’s a little, harmless victory in your everlasting war with The Man.

But now, according to YouGov, 60 per cent of the British public say that a drink at lunch on a workday, even with food, is unacceptable. That moves up to a stiff-drink-inducing 74 per cent when you take food out of the equation. With due respect to the medium of polls, a concept we have learned this week to take with a flatbed truck-load of salt, the thought that nearly three-quarters of the polled isles think you’re a tosser for sneaking 568ml of vital, mildly sense-numbing fluid while they pick at their anemic Pret Posh Pickle baguette is one that fills us with dread.

We’d be interested to see if, in the cold harsh light of day, with the weather getting finger-freezingly shite, in the fallout of mass scale social unrest and upheaval, a hard Brexit looming, a soft orange Cthulhu prepping his arse for the Oval Office hotseat, polls might be lil’ different now…

[Images: Spli/Flickr]