There’s a Witcher series coming to Netflix, didn’t you know? One based on the computer games that you may have played two hours of before giving up due to their extreme difficulty and ultimate pointlessness, like every computer game ever made.
Anyway, not to get all existential on your asses, they’ve announced some pretty exciting news for fans of the game and the books they’re based on - they’ve cast two of the most pivotal female characters, those of the sorceress Yennefer (teehee) and Ciri, Princess of Cintra (pssfth, teeheehee!).
The two actors slipping into their fancy boots will be Anya Chalotra (Yennerfer), who you may recognise from Wanderlust, that one with Toni Collette having loads of rude sex on it; and Freya Allan (Ciri), who you may recognise from nothing, for she is but a child and she ain’t been in nowt yet.
But that’s not it, oh no! They’ve also announced a bunch of other cast-members for your pleasure.
You’ve got Jodhi May (Game of Thrones) as Queen Calanthe, Björn Hlynur Haraldsson (Fortitude) as the knight Eist, Adam Levy (Knightfall) as the druid Mousesack, MyAnna Buring (Ripper Street) as Tissaia, Mimi Ndiweni (Black Earth Rising) as Fringilla, Therica Wilson-Read (Profile) as Sabrina and Millie Brady (The Last Kingdom) as the outcast Princess Renfri. Oh and of course Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.
In case you were wondering, here are those character names ranked in order of least to most ridiculous:
Ciri, Princess of Cintra
Geralt of Rivia
You wait, next year’s must-have hairstyle will be the ‘Fringilla’. Best not ask for the ‘Mousesack’ though, things get quite intimate.
Anyway, The Witcher showrunner and executive producer, Lauren Schmidt Hissrich (Daredevil) said:
“Casting The Witcher has been one of the biggest projects of my career, and undoubtedly the most exciting. I can’t wait for these wonderful actors to bring such iconic and loved characters to life on screen, and to share these special stories with viewers all over the world.”
The show will hit Netflix sometime in 2020, probably. Maybe. Who knows. Whenever it is, at least your Mousesack will have grown back by then.