We’re reaching the stage where we really need to stop assuming tech companies know anything about real life.
CityMapper has invented a cab with regular stops – in other words, a bus.
Airbnb is working on developing its own ‘branded apartments’ – so a hotel, then.
Someone else has come up with the concept of ‘house-hacking’, which already exists and is just the concept of being a landlord.
And now, looking at Google’s new emojis, I think we’ve figured out what the problem is – they’re not appropriating ideas, they literally don’t know what normal stuff is or looks like.
Right, so here’s a picture of a cheeseburger.
You might be thinking “what are you doing? I know what a cheeseburger looks like”. Well that’s fine, but GOOGLE CLEARLY DOESN’T.
Get exclusive shortlists, celebrity interviews and the best deals on the products you care about, straight to your inbox.
Here’s another one, just in case there are any Google execs waking up to a flurry of cheeseburger-related text messages and taking the appropriate step of heading immediately to ShortList.com.
Surely that’s impossible to mess up, right? What did they do, forget the cheese?
No, somehow it’s worse.
It’s under the burger. Under. The. Burger.
Before, you thought the only downside to powdered meals was social exclusion, but no – there are actually some practical issues to transcending people-food.
Still, even if that burger’s all wrong, at least anyone eating it would be able to wash it down with a cool glass of beer.
Everyone knows what that looks like – there’s no way anyone could get that wr…
To Google’s credit, CEO Sundar Pichai has pledged to look into the matter.
However, we need to work out how something like this happened in the first place.
Do staff in Google’s canteen have to assemble their own burgers? Do they come pre-assembled with the cheese below the beef? Do they drink bizarre glasses of beer with clouds floating above them at their after-work drinks?
We need answers.
(Images: Apple/Google/Rex Features)
-
A man tweeted that his Dad was sad and the internet saved the dayTry not to cry when you read this
-
5 great gadgets to help you crush winterGadgets to fight the freeze
-
We have devastating news about The Rock, pineapples and pizzaWe thought we liked The Rock. We might have to think again
-
How to use Alexa to get food, wine and beer pairings so you can pretend you’re a connoisseurThanks Alexa!
-
Good news, drunkards, Uber Eats is going 24 hoursThis is very pleasing news
-
Predicting who will win the Great British Bake Off 2018 based on the contestants’ social mediaDamned are all ye who enter here.
-
Wait, so is Starbucks accepting Bitcoin now or not?A recent statement from Starbucks had people jumping to cryptocurrency-related conclusions
-
"I was making more money from 'eating' than from my actual job": Confessions of the UK's #1 competitive eaterHow to eat 13 tubs of Ben & Jerry's and still stay fit

