You can now buy IKEA furniture on Amazon Prime

IKEA is fun for some people – me, I don’t like it as much, because I don’t like being told what to do. When I enter a shop, I want to walk wherever the sod I want to – I ain’t having no floor-based direction Nazi telling me which direction I have to go in. If I want to look at the cacti before I look at the beds – let me. How else am I supposed to hide cacti in the beds? It’s detrimental to my mischief.

Annoying thing is, I quite like the stuff you can get in IKEA – the chests of drawers are great, the beds are great and you know what, I reckon some of the stools are pretty wicked too. Also, the meatballs – gotsta get me summa those juicy babies on my way out, you know that.

So, wow, amazing, thanks, I can now get IKEA stuff off Amazon Prime, which is brilliant because I don’t have to go into a store – I can get it delivered to my yard in double quick time.

It’s a little bit more expensive, and so definitely not worth the mark-up for smaller items like candles or dust pans, but if you’re getting a big old wardrobe to keep your slacks in, then obviously go for delivery. It would be rude not to.

Of course, you can already nab your favourite Swedish furnishings from the actual, literal IKEA website, but add in delivery costs and all that extra jazz, and hey, you’re going to be paying through the roof of your nose. For example, if you like the lovely smooth look of a KALLAX bookcase, then you can head into a store, follow the rules and buy one for around £50. But if you understandably don’t want to ever leave your house, then you’re looking at closer to £200 for the same item on the IKEA website.

“Log on” to Amazon Prime though, and you’ll get it in three days for around £100. What a bargain. Cheap as chip-flavoured crisps.

Want meatballs on Amazon Prime? You’ll have to settle for non-IKEA ones, unfortunately. And cold. And tinned. But you can get meatballs from Amazon Prime. Look:

I know what I’m having for dinner in three days! Burp!

IMPORTANT UPDATE: IKEA contacted us to say that we’ve got things a bit wrong, here. So instead of trying to worm ourselves out of things, here’s their statement in full:

IKEA is not selling products on Amazon or any third party sites at this time. Any IKEA product on Amazon now is being sold by a reseller. IKEA has no relationship with them. Currently IKEA is only exploring opportunities to sell on online platforms, in addition to its own. IKEA sells its products at IKEA stores worldwide and on IKEA.com.

So basically, if you’re getting IKEA stuff from Amazon, it’s all unofficial and shit. Sorry for the confusion, everybody...

(Image: Wikipedia)