Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

This 12-year-old CEO is here to show you just how little you've achieved in your life

ozjenk2.jpg

What had you done by the time you were 12?

That’s Year 7, so the first year of ‘senior school’. Speaking personally, my achievements to that point included deciding that football was brilliant, playing the piano (badly) and being able to do the disappearing thumb trick. And I was considered pretty advanced amongst my peer group. These days though? I’d be nothing. I’d be an embarrassment. Because there’s kids like ‘Jenk Oz’ about and they are here to make you feel completely worthless.

He’s a 12-year-old business superstar, whose Instagram bio reads: “Actor.Musician.Entrepreneur. CEO/Founder iCoolKid.com” and is the subject of breathless profile pieces by Business Insider and FQ Magazine, who’ve charted the various strands to his glamorous lifestyle.

His company, iCoolKid is a “digital media platform”/”multi-channel digital lifestyle hub”  aimed at 8-to-15-year-olds, while he’s also an actor, singer, model, dancer and musician, having appeared in Sky Atlantic's Fortitude, A Hundred Streets, starring Idris Elba, and in West End performances of The Last of De Mullin and Taming of the Shrew.

His Instagram is awash with photos of him looking like the ultimate cool kid. Take a peek, go on.

Bieber Fever in Hyde Park! โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŽค

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

Sundays...sleep until you're hungry then eat till you're sleepy #sundayvibes

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

Rock On! Denmark Street & Fender Rules๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽผ

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

It is at this point, however, that we must ask the question: is it wrong to hate a child?

Come on, don’t pretend you’re not thinking it too. We can see you thinking it. But, surely, it’s great to see someone so young achieving all their dreams right? Well…

Let’s begin with iCoolKid, which is the company he started when he was eight, apparently inspired by ‘Show and Tell’ sessions at school.

He tells FQ: “I was always out and about trying new hobbies or going to see a cool performance/show. When I next saw my friends they would want to hear all about my adventures, so I thought it would be great idea to share all the interesting things I was doing.”

And he tells Business Insider: "Every morning after the weekend, teachers would ask, 'So what did everyone do this weekend?' I would always have something different to say than everyone else – a musical, a dance competition, instead of a football or rugby match. People would say, 'Jenk, could I come with you this time?' So mum started writing an email blog every week on Friday about what I was doing over the weekend.”

Yes, that’s right, his life was so much better and more interesting that everyone else at school that his mum – oh, by the way, she’s an ex-managing director of Goldman Sachs (yes, the investment bank memorably described as a ‘vampire squid’) – decided to send an email round to everyone to brag about it.

OK, so it does sound like the kid is talented. He tells Business Insider: "I've been performing since I was about four years old. I started doing acting and music very young. I learned to play piano when I was I can't even remember how old – four or five – then adopted the drums and guitar. As of very recently, I've started playing the saxophone, and I'm now highest grade piano."

“Highest grade”? Who says that? Why wouldn’t you just say a number? What grade is that ‘highest grade’ Jenk? 7? WRONG. BUSTED.

Next up, just study this photo, which is accompanied by the caption: “A couple years later — in late 2016 — iCoolKid was born as a digital publishing, media, consulting and production company providing original content for Generation Z.”

Just look at those four guys in the background. Those four guys who are all taking instruction from someone half their age. Who are all probably incredibly smart and talented and have voices that have actually broken. I suspect… I suspect that they hate that kid in front of them, who runs “daily editorial meetings before class”. They pick up their paychecks at the end of the month and then they go home and cry.

 

Hangin' at iCoolKid office working hard... or hardly working? #fridayvibes @icoolkidgarage #bogo #hypebeast

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

Or could it be...

Could it actually be...

That this kid is the new Zuckerberg...

Angry Cat...no sudden movements! ๐Ÿฏ

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

And I am just jealous...

 

Somebody tell me if a car comes up the ramp ๐Ÿš—#photoshoot today ๐Ÿ“ธ

A post shared by Jenk Oz (@icoolkidjenk) on

That he is much more handsome than me...

And he got to meet Dua Lipa...

Yeah. Yeah it could be all of that.

Sorry Jenk.

Can I have a job?

Related

facefi.png

Facebook are making it easier for you to find Wi-Fi

nuggets.jpg

A woman pulled a gun out because she didn't have enough nuggets

star wars.jpg

Have franchise films killed the satisfying ending? And am I to blame?

More

How famous websites looked when they first went online vs. now

Amazon has come a long, long way...

by Gary Ogden
18 Aug 2017

How one button on your keyboard can save you from email hell

Save yourself from email hell

by Alex Finnis
18 Aug 2017

A real-life Mario Kart track is coming and yes, it looks amazing

It's BYOB (bring your own bananas)

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

Everyone is obsessed with these ยฃ6 earphones - here's why

They have over 25,000 5-star ratings on Amazon

by Gary Ogden
15 Aug 2017

An ode to MSN Messenger: The best instant messaging app of all time

Nothing can ever come close

by Gary Ogden
11 Aug 2017

This simple hack will make music sound louder on your iPhone

Turn that thing up to 11

by Emily Reynolds
10 Aug 2017

These 2004 Apple 'rules for success' show why the company is so huge

"Have fun, otherwise itโ€™s not worth it"

by Tom Victor
10 Aug 2017

Facebook has launched a new feature to kill off TV and Netflix

It's trying to take over your life even more

by Dave Fawbert
10 Aug 2017

Tinder is trying to cut out one of its users' most annoying habits

It's about time

by Gary Ogden
04 Aug 2017

Facebook AI bots develop own language, start planning to murder us

Oh good. Good. This is good

by Gary Ogden
01 Aug 2017