You’ve probably heard of the Slender Man: a supernaturally tall, be-suited, faceless creepazoid who kidnaps kids in the woods. You’ll have heard of him, because you have been on the internet before, and that’s where he originated: the Photoshopped creation of a bloke named Eric Knudsen. Since the first posting way back in 2009, old Slender Pants has become a cultural phenomenon, one that - aside from memes and video games - also unfortunately inspired a real-life murder attempt.
Still, they’ve gone ahead and made a movie anyway, and it’s from the guy who directed I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - the fantastically dire third film in the franchise. So, hopes are high…
Either way, here’s the trailer:
Here’s a little bit of information that I’m willing to gift you for free: that’s a hot-daym whopping pile ‘o’ shite right there. What a bad trailer!
By the looks of things, this is one of those horror films where anything and everything is thrown at the camera, in the hope that some of it sticks. Laughing kids? You betcha! Maggots? Ho boy, here’s a pile! Shadows on the wall? Why not, it’s not like I care! Frenzied, dead-eyed writing on a mirror? PAH, YOU LOT’LL EAT ANYTHING!
Shame really, because the idea and design behind the character is strong, definitely enough to carry a whole movie - just appears that we won’t be getting that one. We’ll be getting another one, probably a watered-down, 12A jobby to boot - how disappointing.
Oh well, it’s out in cinemas in May.