There's something rather garish about the contemporary football boot - a plasticised, neon blur that says more about the vanity of the modern footballer than the quality of the shoe itself. Which is why we're rather taken by the traditional themes on display in the Puma King by Alexander McQueen.
In a nod toward this summer's World Cup (don't pretend you'd forgotten about it), Puma has teamed up with McQueen to create a one-off, special edition of one of the most iconic football boot silhouettes still found on the pitch.
Based on the King's 1980s redesign, 100 pairs of the McQueen King have been hand crafted in Italy in two editions: 30 in a shimmering golden Fish Skin finish, and 70 in a hand burnished Italian leather.
No, you won't be seeing any players sprinting down the Brazilian touchlines in a pair of the McQueens - the oversized tongue and formstrip stitching are nods toward the boot's unique design history, showcasing the value of handmade over machine-made. And only a brute would consider kicking a ball with them.
We've been fortunate enough to be sent one of the 70 pairs of leather finished boots, which now takes pride of place on ShortList's coffee table (behind laser defences and pressure pads).