Brutally honest stereotypes about every Premier League team's fans

Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?

Brutally honest stereotypes about every Premier League team's fans

The new season is nearly here and fans are prepping their vocal chords with honey and lemon, stretching out their middle-fingers, and prepping their calves for nearly a year of jumping out of their seats.

Last year we ranked all of the worst fans in the Premier League and now we’re back at square one and everyone’s back to taking themselves much too seriously. So, since there are a couple of fresh faces, we’re here to help remind you who’s who, by way of intentionally reductive – and therefore easy to remember – stereotypes for every single Premier League team’s fans.


5dc9320768adbd0a5ece8ada7b1a86d6-1556679015-rC5T-column-width-inline

ARSENAL

How they see themselves: Beloved raconteurs and social media mavens with a deep understanding of the modern game.

What everyone else sees: Accountants and precocious children.


97db0a0ac33efda585d7604e46139325-1556679015-Hur1-column-width-inline

BOURNEMOUTH

How they see themselves: The hard-up supporters of Europe’s pluckiest club.

What everyone else sees: A team people only remember exist when it’s their turn to play them.


41e810d0ae3933a30f0930b34a358799-1556679015-WFqm-column-width-inline

BRIGHTON & HOVE

How they see themselves: Well-educated sophisticates.

What everyone else sees: A chance to go to the seaside and say, “Am I fuck paying six quid for a jackfruit bap.”


accd7b9729925a6c2427b43bedd54502-1556679016-kcSp-column-width-inline

BURNLEY

How they see themselves: Not actually that bleak and one of the country’s oldest, proudest clubs.

What everyone else sees: Alastair Campbell and crushing, unending bleakness.


e178cc29b6b68ae16c5c3396468e54a1-1556679016-lwdS-column-width-inline

CHELSEA

How they see themselves: Loyal fans who slipped Dennis Wise and lucked into the British archetype for the modern, super-rich mega club.

What everyone else sees: Glory-hunting Tories.


f4478bb776868ee22531f527d65c8548-1556679016-Igtf-column-width-inline

CRYSTAL PALACE

How they see themselves: Die-hard ultras who will never, ever, ever stop singing. Never ever.

What everyone else sees: Aggravating lads who buy flares off Amazon.


f729eade69d137938dba6f0025df5643-1556679017-XYfV-column-width-inline

EVERTON

How they see themselves: The real Liverpool.

What everyone else sees: The crap Liverpool.


bc23b78b11eb50ed36ede54a599225a9-1556679017-VAON-column-width-inline

HUDDERSFIELD TOWN

How they see themselves: The very definition of ‘happy to be here’.

What everyone else sees: Yeah, that.


39bf74aa846f4c22d0667738f96a08a6-1556679017-lh9l-column-width-inline

LEICESTER CITY

How they see themselves: Proof that Gabrielle was right: dreams can come true.

What everyone else sees: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha *deep breath* hahahahahahaha.


30f6f668e846001122c943fbd1eccb28-1556679018-B0Vn-column-width-inline

LIVERPOOL

How they see themselves: A fallen giant that will win the lot this season, they swear.

What everyone else sees: A great night out ruined when someone makes a joke about slipping.


30fcf1e7f1513f04bfff84332aac3f89-1556679018-VQyY-column-width-inline

MAN CITY

How they see themselves: The true Manc club who the billions won’t change.

What everyone else sees: Noel Gallagher standing in a VIP box eating lobster tail.


e43761e8d27fdd8df032860fe7ce268a-1556679018-tnjz-column-width-inline

MAN UNITED

How they see themselves: Hated, adored, never ignored.

What everyone else sees: Remember when Fergie said Phil Jones could be the best player in the club’s history?


5cb64ba3202bf65c6d6f13cc5b4ca699-1556679019-oCbr-column-width-inline

NEWCASTLE

How they see themselves: *plays ‘The Boys Are Back In Town’ by Thin Lizzy*

What everyone else sees: Pissed, shirtless, cold.


3822f59f6a2251cee595ff1ac6f8d3ed-1556679019-6iIV-column-width-inline

SOUTHAMPTON

How they see themselves: A revered club in a beautiful part of the country, with fans once voted the best singers in the league.

What everyone else sees: Portsmouth 2.0.


f91fa8cb32623e601d69a17ecd26fd93-1556679020-07Sf-column-width-inline

STOKE CITY

How they see themselves: Inspiring “genuine admiration for the volume of the club’s loyal support” (their actual words).

What everyone else sees: Fair play; there’s not a lot else going on in Stoke, is there?


4429ad29ff4add035871a48d863a7f1f-1556679020-tpyS-column-width-inline

SWANSEA CITY

How they see themselves: The pride of bloody Wales!

What everyone else sees: Fans that only turn up because the Swansea rugby team is shite.


124cd6dba5023a309e4323659f7e7cb1-1556679020-1cRo-column-width-inline

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

How they see themselves: The thinking-man’s club in London.

What everyone else sees: Interminably gobby success-avoiders.


00c09bc5d4fa1389603fab0073b7f155-1556679021-iHco-column-width-inline

WATFORD

How they see themselves: Graham Taylor’s Golden Boys.

What everyone else sees: That town that incorrectly reckons it’s in London and the fact that Elton doesn’t come around much any more.


9241ac32b34fc710c3b07bf3d673a1c8-1556679021-8ItA-column-width-inline

WEST BROM

How they see themselves: Frank Skinner.

What everyone else sees: Adrian Chiles.


a945d35705c7afb3d8def8f86bad9078-1556679021-whvY-column-width-inline

WEST HAM

How they see themselves: “We won the World Cup!”

What everyone else sees: “Yeah, but you didn’t, though, did you?”


Illustrations by Dan Evans

Today's Best Deals

1. Disney+ 7 day free trial

1. Disney+ 7 day free trial

£5.99 p/m after trail

View now at Disney

2. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

2. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

£14.99 BluRay

Buy now on Amazon

3. Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga Complete Box Set [Blu-ray]

3. Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga Complete Box Set [Blu-ray]

£64.99

View now on Amazon

4. Nintendo Switch Console - Neon

4. Nintendo Switch Console - Neon

£279.99

£300.00

View now at Argos

5. Sony PS4 500GB Console & FIFA 20 Bundle

5. Sony PS4 500GB Console & FIFA 20 Bundle

£249.99

View now at Argos

6. Apple AirPods with Charging Case

6. Apple AirPods with Charging Case

£139.00

View now at Argos

7. Sony PS4 Official DualShock 4 wireless Controller V2

7. Sony PS4 Official DualShock 4 wireless Controller V2

£49.99

View now at Argos

8. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Nintendo Switch Game

8. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Nintendo Switch Game

£42.99

View now at Argos

9. Amazon Fire TV Stick with Alexa Voice Remote

9. Amazon Fire TV Stick with Alexa Voice Remote

£39.95

View now at Argos

10. Nintendo Switch Lite Handheld Console

10. Nintendo Switch Lite Handheld Console

£199.99

View now at Argos

11. Lay-Z-Spa Cancun 2-4 Person Hot Tub - HOME DELIVERY

11. Lay-Z-Spa Cancun 2-4 Person Hot Tub - HOME DELIVERY

£320.00

View now at Argos

12. Animal Crossing: New Horizons Nintendo Switch Game

12. Animal Crossing: New Horizons Nintendo Switch Game

£49.99

View now at Argos

13. Argos Home 43cm Kettle Charcoal BBQ

13. Argos Home 43cm Kettle Charcoal BBQ

£25.00

View now at Argos

14. Wahl Colour Pro Styler Hair Clipper 9155-2417X

14. Wahl Colour Pro Styler Hair Clipper 9155-2417X

£12.99

View now at Argos

15. Argos Home 4 Burner Gas BBQ with Side Burner

15. Argos Home 4 Burner Gas BBQ with Side Burner

£120.00

View now at Argos