
Q: Guess what I don’t want to do?
A: Sit next to Donald Trump.
But that’s just me, I reckon there are a load of other people that don’t want to sit next to him, too. I imagine he wheezes in quite a distracting manner. I presume he has dandruff. We all already know that he has the most infuriating handshake known to man. Imagine him trying to pull that stunt on you – I’d lose my head.
FRONT PAGE: SMALL-TIME JOURNALIST SUPLEXES TRUMP AFTER HANDSHAKE GONE-WRONG AT OPENING OF NEW SAINSBURY’S
Basically, we’re in agreement here: it’s probably undesirable to sit next to Donald Trump. Unfortunately though, sometimes people have to sit next to him, like Akie Abe, the First Lady of Japan. Recently she was put in the unenviable position of joining Trump for dinner, but she handled it like an absolute boss. Because:
Yep, she pretended she couldn't speak English just so she didn't have to speak to Trump. That, my friends, is great. Really, really great. She had a really long, insufferable dinner with Trump, and she didn’t speak to him once, because he thought she couldn’t speak English. Here’s a video of her speaking that very English, in case you were wondering:
I love her, she is the best.
Get exclusive shortlists, celebrity interviews and the best deals on the products you care about, straight to your inbox.
I remember being on holiday in America once, and trick-or-treaters came to our hotel room (yes, you are right – that is extremely peculiar), and my dad pretended he couldn’t speak English so they’d go away. It’s a wonderful tactic to get yourself out of an undesirable situation. Well done everyone.
I’ll just leave this here:
(Image: Rex)
-
5 colourful watches you can get away with whatever the occasion
From the bar to the boardroom, these timepieces won’t look out of place.
-
F1's most experienced driver has 1,300 laps — but not a single point: A chat with FIA safety car supremo Bernd Mayländer
Bernd Mayländer on Monaco, Motor Sports, and the time he picked up Michael Schumacher...