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If you have this face shape, then you’re more likely to cheat

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Gary Ogden
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If you have this face shape, then you're more likely to cheat

What shape is your head, please? Is it round? Square? Triangle? Icosidodecahedron? Well, whatever the hell shape it is (don’t ask me, I’ve never seen anything like it!), it could have a massive bearing on how much of a dickhead you are, when it comes to relationships.

Researchers at Nipissing University, Ontario, measured the faces of 145 undergraduates who were in relationships and interviewed them about their sex lives. Each of the students were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their sex drive, sexual orientation, how often they nipped up to their room for a quick spot of self-abuse and what they reckoned their chances of cheating were.

Additionally, they were asked questions about their ‘sociosexual orientation’, which basically means how comfortable you are with casual sex. 

They then had their faces photographed and their facial width-to-height ratios were calculated. This was then all popped in a big melting pot and stirred about until some results came out of a tap at the bottom.

And it turns out that if you’ve got a big, wide, square head, then you’re a bit of a naughty little bizzer. The study found that those with wider faces had a more casual outlook on sex and were linked with tendencies such as unethical behaviour, prejudice and even psychopathic traits.

Thankfully for you, Gordon Ramsay, they were also more likely to be wealthy and more attractive to the opposite sex for a one night stand.

Dr Steven Arnocky, who led the study, said: 

“Together, these findings suggest that facial characteristics might convey important information about human sexual motivations.”

Of course, if you’ve got a head like that bit in Drop Dead Fred where he gets his face caught in the fridge door, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re definitely going to cheat.  Carmen Lefevre at Northumbria University previously did a study which linked a wide face shape with higher levels of testosterone, which would explain the above findings, but it’s not the be-all and end-all:

“One thing that is important to remember is that we are seeing relatively small correlations here,

“That means that there is only a tendency for wider-faced people to have a greater sex drive, not that every person with a relatively wide face is a sex maniac.”

So if you’re about to go and dump your girlfriend just because you’ve got a giant face, don’t do it - you might be one of the nice ones. Also, and quite obviously, do not use your plate-face as an excuse to cheat. Just remember, it makes it much easier to punch.

(Image: iStock)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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