Just spend five minutes on Twitter and you’ll soon become aware of just how argumentative humans are. ‘Agreeing to disagree’ is not something that seems to happen on social media and, to be honest, in the real world too. Because, sadly, our beautiful planet remains in a constant state of turmoil: riven by conflict, war and aggression.
It needs to stop. But what can we do?
Who can bring us all together, solve our problems and bring forth peace and harmony throughout the world?
Well, we thought Chromeo could.
The Funklordz themselves, David “Dave 1” Macklovitch and Patrick “P-Thugg” Gemayel, have built a career on harnessing the funk and conjuring up good vibes over the course of their five magnificent albums to date, (the latest of which, Head Over Heels, emerged earlier this year). In their own words, they are the world’s only successful Arab/Jewish partnership - so who better to bring people together to tackle the Earth’s manifold problems?
Therefore, we asked them for a ten point plan to sort things out.
We present: Chromeo’s ’10 Steps Towards Making The World A Better (And Thus Funkier) Place’.
1. The entire Sade discography comes built in on every iPhone
2. Every parliament is renamed Funkadelic
3. The Beastie Boys are engraved on Mount Rushmore
4. Talkbox and vocoder are provided for every kid in a classroom who’s too shy to speak up
5. Trump’s Twitter account gets permanently hacked by George Clinton (which makes Trump twice as angry because he thinks George is related to Hillary)
6. Gym classes replaced by James Brown dancing classes
7. “One Nation Under A Groove” is played every day on both Israeli and Palestinian radio - followed by the Chromeo remix “A Two Nation Solution Can Also Be Groovy”
8. Diplomats are strongly encouraged to listen to Cam’ron and The Diplomats
“This one’s called ‘Dead Muthafuckas’”
9. A Bootsy Collins ensemble is sent free of charge to every kid who doesn’t know what to dress up as for Halloween
Trick, treat, or THE FUNK?
10. All the fake news Cambridge Analytica Facebook bots are replaced with Rest In Peace George Michael posts with some of his strongest lewks
We look forward to an end to all war within the next week or so.
Thank you Chromeo.
Head Over Heels is out now. Check out chromeo.net and subscribe to Funklordz Radio
(Illustrations: @gogdenart)
(Other images: Getty)
