One year on, the unlimited free nuggs guy has let us all down
It pains us to report this appalling news
He was the hero that we could all get behind.
When a young man by the name of Carter Wilkinson sent out a tweet to US fast food chain Wendy’s enquiring as to how many retweets he would need to get for them to give him a year of free nuggets, he could never have expected that it would be the start of a journey that would lead him to claim a Twitter record and achieve worldwide fame.
Oh, and to also get that year of juicy, tasty, free nuggets.
Of course, his tweet went viral, and swiftly went past the previous record-holder - Ellen DeGeneres’ famous Oscars selfie - standing at the record-breaking number of 3.6 million retweets at the time of writing (as well as as 993k likes - seriously guys, why did you bother, he needed the retweets yeah?)
Despite not reaching the specified Wendy’s number of 18 million, they awarded him his prize nonetheless, presumably grateful of the massive amount of free PR they received from the whole endeavour (they also donated $100,000 in Carter’s name to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption which was a nice thing to do, well done Wendy’s).
However, we’re now a year on from the tweet - and it’s time for the scores on the doors. Just how insane has Carter’s nugget-filled year been? How many massive parties has he hosted, with naked models strewn across his bed, empty champagne bottles discarded on the floor and piles upon piles of nuggets laid out across the room?
Has he checked into nugget rehab, unable to control himself in the face of such temptation?
Did he fly too close to the nugget sun?
Has he eaten so many chicken nuggets that he’s simply become one? A nugget in human form? Has he eaten so many that he’s become all-powerful, like Keith Richards, only with nuggets flowing through his bloodstream instead of booze and drugs?
Carter told Metro: “I’d say I’ve eaten over 400 but I’m not 100% sure.”
Are you joking?
Is that it mate?
Seriously, are you joking?
I’ve eaten way more than that this year and I had to pay for every last one of them (and I’d do it all again). This is nothing short of a disgrace.
On Thursday, he tweeted to declare 5 April ‘National Nugget Day’ in honour of the one year anniversary of his tweet but frankly we don’t think Carter gets to decide any more. I deserve to declare when National Nugget Day is and it will be the day I attempt to do the Maccy D’s 100 nugget challenge and end up in a coma on 87 because that’s the sort of commitment that should be on display when one is in the nugget arena; not this lily-livered, pathetic, abominable display.
Apparently, his year of unlimited free nuggets isn’t up yet - it started when the record had been achieved, which wasn’t until May last year, so he has about a month to redeem himself.
If he doesn’t gorge himself stupid every single day until the offer expires then how can he look at himself in the mirror any more?
Don’t be a chicken Carter. Get eating. Right now (and send some to me).