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52 weeks of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson: week 34

Stop making money out of The Rock's name, scammers!

52 weeks of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson: week 34
05 September 2018

It’s scams this week. Oh yes, we all like a juicy scam, don’t we. We all love to be conned out of our money, don’t we. We all love to have our hard-earned cash duplicitously snatched away from us by frauds, don’t we. But hang on – do we really?

That’s right. Wherever there is money, there will be scammers. Peering around the corner in their tiny shorts and their long hats, licking their lips and whispering “Yummy yummy scammy scammy,” they yearn to exploit the success of wealthy individuals for their own squalid gains.

And so to Dwayne Rock Mr Johnson, who this week warned of the dangers of “fake Facebook accounts” who try to con the gullible out of their American dollar.

Mr Johnson quite rightly calls the people in charge of these accounts “pieces of shit”. 

Imagine how much of a piece of shit you’d have to be to warrant being called a piece of shit by Mr Dwayne The Rock Johnson, the least piece-of-shit man ever made. That man is beautifully kind to every soul on the planet. To provoke his ire, you’d have to be such a colossal piece of shit, the most enormous piece of shit known to man, that to even look in the mirror without throwing up would be difficult. 

“WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT I AM,” you’d howl, puking your Pot Noodle into your pathetic bin.

One such piece of shit is a man on Facebook calling himself ‘Tyler P (Dwayne Douglas Johnson)’.

Tyler P chooses to spend his precious time on this planet posting videos of The Rock accompanied by photos of people holding piles of money, and stock photography of hands writing cheques. 

He has 1,799 followers and says things that Dwayne Johnson would certainly say, like “FOR Today DATE on the last day, if you see this post Share Now! It’s Official From Me Dwayne Johnson, I give everyone $ 6,000,000 AND CAR who like and share this post!”

I made it very clear what I thought of Tyler P: 

Within seconds my comment was overtaken by people saying ‘Win’. 

They piled up and they piled up and they piled up.  At the time of writing, that Tyler P post had attracted 397 shares, along with 339 comments from people saying ‘Win’ and variations thereon (“God bless you and your family sir AMEN”). 

Personally I detect no hint that these people are commenting ironically. It seems that they – Jasvinder Sheoran, Zamir Zamir and Emily Smith – are desperately hoping that they will be the person to whom Dwayne Johnson chooses to give SIX MILLION DOLLARS AND A CAR. Many of them share the post, commenting ‘Win’ to be safe. Under these shares other people comment ‘Win’. On and on and on it goes.

After people commented on a recent post, Tyler P wrote: “Register Now Clik Here Note: to win prizes, you must REGISTER YOUR NAME in my website here. There are still many empty slots. Wish you luck, I hope you are the next winner.” 

It is hard to imagine a more transparent fraudster than this absolute prick. He’s out there doing this every single day. And, as The Rock implies, it must be worth his while because people do give their money away in order to…win more money? Presumably, somehow, Tyler P is making money from this.

In early 2017, before Tyler P started engaging in scams like this, he seemed content posting links to streaming services – under which, presumably in a scattershot approach, hoping for the best, people as recently as a few hours ago were typing ‘Win’.

It’s a strange world out there. I don’t claim to understand the system exactly, nor the people who twist it for their sordid ends, but, in the weeks to come, I aim to get to the bottom of it. For the sake of The Rock Report and its readers, I promise to try my best.

If taken at face value, one of the comments I found under one of Tyler P’s posts underlines the tragedy of the situation:

“Thank you if you pick me and thank you for those you have blessed, I myself sound a lot like what your talking about I’m 55 and never even had a real nice car much less anything else. But now after I had a horrific motorcycle accident and I broke my spine and my pelvis in 6places and both arms in 3places busted bladder and liver damage I first of all am blessed to be alive ,and after 8 years I finally got my disability but they only give me 500 a month to live on.if it wasn’t for family I wouldn’t have a place to even live and I’ve wondered daily what I’ll do if anything happens to my mother because she has 2 little junk houses but she lets me stay with her and I do all I can to help her with the house and bills but she’s already said she wants her stuff to go to her grand kids which they need help to but if your giving away money I wouldn’t even want a million, I’d just like to have enough for a trailer And a acre of land to make sure I’d have a place to live out my life in and since the wreck my bone density has gone crazy I’ve broke my back again for the 3rd time in 7 years .but either way brother peace out and God bless you”

That may be authentic. It may not. That man may believe he’s speaking directly to The Rock. He may not. But plenty of the people sucked in by this horrible kind of scam are real. And if this man is real, he’s pouring out his heart and soul, desperate for money that he will never see.

Watch out, pieces of shit. I’m coming for you.

Stay hungry, stay humble.

(Illustration: Dan Evans)

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