Entertainment

photoshop_posters

Photoshop disasters

Guaranteed to unsettle

Now we understand that it can often be hard to get those pesky actors to turn up, stand still and do whatever you damn want them to, but there are limits to what studios should be allowed to do behind their privileged backs.

Time and time again, movie posters have been transformed from ugly mistakes into nightmare-inducing monstrosities. The curse of Photoshop has given a generation of actors faces and limbs that would be better suited to a life in Madame Tussauds.

Here's a tribute to the ten worst offenders:

  • Takers

    Takers

    What do you do when you're trying to assemble six lead… More details

    Takers

    Takers

    What do you do when you're trying to assemble six lead actors for a poster shoot? Well after months of mismatched schedules you despair, give up and decide that you can manage without them. Result: you really can't. This frightening collection of heads and bodies amounts to one of the shoddiest examples of recent years and will hopefully make stars think again when turning down an hour's worth of posing.

  • Good Luck Chuck

    Good Luck Chuck

    After Jessica Alba probably flat-out refused to spend an… More details

    Good Luck Chuck

    Good Luck Chuck

    After Jessica Alba probably flat-out refused to spend an afternoon in bed with a semi-nude Dane Cook draped all over her, the evil Photoshop elves took their revenge and created this uncomfortable image. Suggesting a film about a man who is obsessed with his dead girlfriend, the eerie poster does the usually stunning Alba no favours and Cook's flexed bicep makes it seem like he's got her in a brutal headlock.

  • Nothing To Lose

    Nothing To Lose

    Tim Robbins has his arm resting on Martin Lawrence's head.… More details

    Nothing To Lose

    Nothing To Lose

    Tim Robbins has his arm resting on Martin Lawrence's head. A relatively simplistic concept yet still clearly impossible to produce without messing it the hell up. Not only is Lawrence perturbed by this but the odd way that his head rests makes him look like one of those bobble heads you see in the back of taxis. Oh and what's hiding underneath Robbins's sinister hair?

  • Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2

    On first glance, this poster is actually pretty strong. The… More details

    Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2

    On first glance, this poster is actually pretty strong. The colour scheme, the mood, the lack of text, but then, wait a minute. What's going on with Kirsten Dunst's massive arm? Does she even need saving with a Stretch Armstrong limb like that? Couldn't she just use that to swipe Doctor Octopus out the way? Then hang on, what's that orange glow around her shoulder? Is she about to combust? Too many questions and not enough answers.

  • The Whole Ten Yards

    The Whole Ten Yards

    Oh hey look it's just a bunch of actors hanging out and… More details

    The Whole Ten Yards

    The Whole Ten Yards

    Oh hey look it's just a bunch of actors hanging out and looking completely comfortable and not weird at all. Well apart from that creepy guy in the middle. Oh and maybe Bruce Willis's scarily feminine legs. Oh and maybe Matthew Perry's strange, disturbed expression. Oh and the confusingly large shoe that Natasha Henstridge seems to be wearing. But apart from that it's totally normal.

  • The Bounty Hunter

    The Bounty Hunter

    Here's another example of a poster that doesn't look too… More details

    The Bounty Hunter

    The Bounty Hunter

    Here's another example of a poster that doesn't look too bad until you start studying what's really going on. Just take a look at the positioning of Gerard Butler on Jennifer Aniston's back. If this was real and not just the figment of some designer's imagination, wouldn't he just slip right off? Unless there's a mini stool that he's using to protect her from experiencing the full force of his body. We seriously doubt it though.

  • The Omen

    The Omen

    Now, Damien is capable of a wide variety of evil things.… More details

    The Omen

    The Omen

    Now, Damien is capable of a wide variety of evil things. Like a one man Final Destination, he can dispatch of any non-believers with a quick glance. But up until this point, we weren't aware of his nefarious Photoshop skills. As well as giving the son of Satan an expression that makes him look like a slightly ticked off doll, he's also engineered a magic swing. Check out the ever-increasing width between the chains. The devil works in arbitrary ways.

  • December Boys

    December Boys

    Now Daniel Radcliffe is no stranger to Photoshop after… More details

    December Boys

    December Boys

    Now Daniel Radcliffe is no stranger to Photoshop after starring in seven Harry Potter films, but nothing could have prepared him for this hack job performed on the December Boys poster. Airbrushed to the point of absurdity, he looks like some kid who lives on the packaging of a cereal box in the 50s. Which, taking a look at the mutant friends chasing him down the beach, would probably be a safer place for him.

  • Bangkok Dangerous

    Bangkok Dangerous

    Where do we start with this one? Maybe Cage's massive hand?… More details

    Bangkok Dangerous

    Bangkok Dangerous

    Where do we start with this one? Maybe Cage's massive hand? It seems to be bigger than his entire head which, in turn, looks like the head of a knock-off Nicolas Cage doll. Just underneath that there's something confusing going on with his other arm which looks as if it might actually end just below the elbow. Either that or he's hugging himself. Which could be true, given his recent career choices.

  • Postal

    Postal

    Defying any rational explanation, this poster for the… More details

    Postal

    Postal

    Defying any rational explanation, this poster for the 'edgy' comedy Postal looks about as unwatchable as the film itself. Yes, that is Osama Bin Laden and George Bush holding hands (see, 'edgy') and yes that is Mini-Me waving goodbye on the right before the strange lemon Fanta swamp swallows him up. No, we don't understand what the hell is going on either.

Tags: movies

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