Dwayne Johnson. The Rock. The People’s Champion. The Brahma Bull. Is there a man alive that we, as other male humans, do not crave the approval of more than he? Maybe our dads, but otherwise it’s him. It’s The Rock. He might just be the most universally popular celebrity out there, and we all want him to be our mate.
With that in mind, we’re all going to have to stop using a certain emoji, because The Rock thinks it’s crap and he hates it.
Does his reasoning make sense? No, absolutely not. I have no idea how he’s come to the conclusions he has, but The Rock has made his decision. It’s final. This emoji – the thinky face one – is “non masculine” apparently, and Dwayne reckons it belongs in the trash.
The Rock’s desire to give the thinky face the People’s Elbow became apparent when illustrator Olly Gibbs pointed out the similarities between his latest film, the Jumaji reboot, and an older version the WWE legend also appeared in – a film, I have to be honest, I did not even know existed – called Welcome to the Jungle (it’s also knows as The Rundown, which may jog your memory – it had Stifler from American Pie in – but for me, still nothing. As far as I’m concerned, this film does not exist).
The Rock, feeling protective about his new project, urged Olly to go and see Jumanji before comparing it to his older work, and then it got strange. “And for fucks sakes stop using the non masculine ? emoji”, he wrote.
Look, I totally don’t get this. It makes no sense to me. Why is that thinky face not masculine? Does The Rock think that thinking is for women? And if so, surely he is a woman for thinking that, because he thought it. or something. I can’t work out what is “non masculine” about that emoji, and to be honest, I’m kinda sad that The Rock cares so much. It’s 2017, who gives a fuck, honestly, about what’s considered masculine or not. Just do what you want. Men wear rompers and lace shorts now, and it’s cool. The concept of masculinity is the root of a lot of problems among men – it’s part of the reason why we can be so crap at opening up about problems that are genuinely affecting our lives, because we don’t want to appear weak. This has all got a little ‘thinky face’ for a story about an emoji, but it’s a point worth mentioning. As a rolemodel to so many, it’d be cool to see The Rock – a man who is basically the human incarnation of an actual Adonis – break down some of these damaging streotypes around what it means to be a man.
Anyway, Gibbs had a pretty perfect retort to The Rock’s tweet, and the People’s Champ took it well, too – he even – in the face of undeniable evidence – ended up making a U-turn on his original opinion.
Not gonna lie, I had to google what acquiesce meant – to “accept something reluctantly but without protest”, it tells me – The Rock is not only built like a tank, he’s smart with it.
So yeah, in the end The Rock decided to begrudgingly accept he was wrong, but if, like me, you’re deep into a lifelong quest to try and convince Dwayne Johnson to become your dad, maybe don’t let him see it in your ‘frequently used’ section – just to be safe.