All for £700 per month, excluding bills.
This is just a flavour of the rage currently flowing through social media streams around #VentYourRent - a collective shaking of fists and howlings at the Moon over extortionate landlord rates in London.
Established by campaign group Generation Rent, the hashtag was sparked into life after it was suggested by property groups that the average rent for a two-bedroom flat in London would pass £2,000 this summer.
Here are some of the most galling stories to have been shared so far.
To find out more about what you can do to bring London's rent system under control, visit Generation Rent.