How to win in court

ShortList’s guest editor — and the most sued man in English legal history — Ian Hislop offers his top tips on how to leave a courthouse smiling.

“Firstly, you must be 100 per cent sure you’re correct.”

“Ensure your principal source/witness doesn’t bottle out the night before. During one case, we had a witness promise they’d support us but on the day, we got a call saying, ‘I’m afraid they’re not coming.’ Who was it? [Laughs] I’m not telling you.”

“Don’t lose your temper or make jokes. I do both of these — I can’t resist. One barrister described me as flippant and I said, ‘Have you heard yourself recently?’ It doesn’t go down well. The court and the judge hate it.”

“Finally, if you want to win in court, do not get me involved.”