How many times have you had the conversation about which Hogwarts house you’d be in? Well finally, the debate need rage on no longer, for a chocolatier has rendered it obsolete. Yes, you heard us.
Easter is only a few weeks away, and Slattery’s Patissier & Chocolatier in Manchester has produced an Easter egg that has a scroll inside, decreeing which of the famous houses you belong to, as well as some chocolate buttons that you can either celebrate (literally anything but Slytherin) or commiserate (you guessed it) with, once you’ve read it.
Isn’t this just a game of chance? We hear you cry. Well let us ask you this, is anything really by chance? The egg you pick up is the one you were always going to pick up, the one you were drawn to, so no, this is not random, it’s fate. Also, it looks like this:
Of course, because it’s so beautiful and can’t be mass produced (it takes around two hours to make a batch of 18) it can’t be sent through the post, so you’ll have to go to the patisserie, in Manchester. But that’s surely worth the trip right? Plus it means your Easter will be infinitely more exciting this year - do any other eggs ever tell you your fate? No, no they don’t.
If Harry Potter isn’t your jam (firstly, what’s wrong with you?) then there are a whole host of other novelty treats to bring some joy to your otherwise cabin fever-y Easter Sunday with the family where you’ve had to stay in your old room and chat to your uncle for what seems like weeks.
Why not get that greasy spoon feeling with your Easter egg, courtesy of Hotel Chocolat, who’ll charge you £10 for the pleasure. The Easter Egg Sandwich probably won’t cure your hangover like a real fried egg bap, but it’s a bit of fun.
Or how about the Guinness egg? Complete with mini Guinness chocolate pints? Sure, it’s probably your weeks worth of calories, but there’s a lot of iron in there too so it’s not all bad.
If you’ve got £25 knocking around to spend on chocolate, take all the fun out of smashing open your eggs to see what chocolate is inside (is it just us or does this seem to have rapidly decreased in recent years) by purchasing a solid chocolate egg. By, you guessed it, The Solid Chocolate Company, and weighing the same as what we can only imagine would be a baby, this egg will definitely be hanging around like a disheveled children’s birthday cake for weeks after Easter. You’ll have to use your hammer to smash it into edible pieces.
Look, guys, what do we have to say. We’ve already had to have a talk with people this week who have been using avocados in their proposals. Now there’s an avocado Easter egg, thanks to Waitrose.
Despite a large portion of the egg being green, we’re reassured it is 100% chocolate. It feels like avocados might be taking over the world, so perhaps we’ll look back wistfully on this time in 2018, from a future where we give birth to avocados, our homes are built from the stones of avocados, and we all work for them, hailing them as our overlords. Can’t wait.
(Main image: Warner Bros.)