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‘Daily Mail’ readers can’t handle the news that the earliest Brits were black

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Harvey Day
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Right-wingers are being triggered by the news that the first Brit was black

Today we learned about the fascinating discovery from scientists at the Natural History Museum that the very earliest modern humans to live in Britain had ‘dark to black’ skin. 

Ancient DNA from Cheddar Man, a skeleton discovered in 1903 at Gough’s Cave in Cheddar Gorge, Somerset, was used to shed light on what our ancestors looked like.

Cheddar Man lived around 10,000 years ago and is the oldest almost complete skeleton of our species, Homo sapiens, ever found in Britain.

Dr Tom Booth explained: “Until recently it was always assumed that humans quickly adapted to have paler skin after entering Europe about 45,000 years ago. Pale skin is better at absorbing UV light and helps humans avoid vitamin D deficiency in climates with less sunlight.”

However, Cheddar Man has the genetic markers of skin pigmentation usually associated with sub-Saharan Africa.

“He is just one person, but also indicative of the population of Europe at the time,” says Tom.

“They had dark skin and most of them had pale colored eyes, either blue or green, and dark brown hair. He reminds us that you can’t make assumptions about what people looked like in the past based on what people look like in the present, and that the pairings of features we are used to seeing today aren’t something that’s fixed.”

Modern-day British people share around 10% of their genetic ancestry with the Cheddar Man population, the scientists added.

This research helps to undermine the white-centric perspective of English history – and it reinforces forgotten truths like the fact that Africans have lived in the British Isles since the days of the Roman Empire, long before the arrival of the Anglo-Saxons.

But, in a totally unsurprising reaction, there’s been an enormous backlash from thin-skinned, breathlessly-outraged right-wingers who are desperate to maintain their racist view of history.

Labour MP for Tottenham and all-around top bloke David Lammy said: “I am so here for the comments on the @MailOnline story on Cheddar Man revealing that the oldest known Briton had dark skin. Solidarity with you Mr Cheddar Man - I just wish I knew about you when I was growing up and people asked me where I was ‘really’ from. North London, bruv.”

Here’s a little taste of some more MailOnline comments:

Right-wingers are being triggered by the news that the first Brit was black 5
Right-wingers are being triggered by the news that the first Brit was black 6
Right-wingers are being triggered by the news that the first Brit was black 7

Elsewhere, the delightful Bill Dagg (who could well be a bot) helpfully told the highly-educated scientists why they are wrong. He wrote: “Even if true, geographic location means nothing. The skin would not be favourable in the cold of Britain. They probably died out over winter. The first modern Britons were Anglos and Saxons from tribes in Germany, brought in by Romans as mercenaries to protect the empire.”

Someone called Cruzado just posted a child’s cartoon and said: “They are the true modern Briton, fake news.” Okaaaaaay.

Donald Flynn didn’t have time to leave a full reply so just went with an angry: “Bullsh*t.” What a guy!

Chalky White opted for full-tilt, right-wing self parody when crafting his comment: “In a few years time [sic] won’t be black or a man, probably be gender neutral rainbow unicorn!” 

Too right, Chalky! Those lib cucks won’t be happy until every British man is a sparkling, homosexual unicorn! Where will it end?!

And for your amusement, here are a few more furious comments on the issue: 

We highly recommend you watch the documentary all about Cheddar Man on Sunday 18 February at 8pm on Channel 4. 

(Image: Channel 4)