Most modern Bond themes are dire, if we’re all being honest with ourselves here. In fact, a good chunk of the old ones are shite, too – Bond themes are songs that you have to pretend to like. But we’re all friends here, so let’s drop the pretense and admit that most of them are cack. Sam Smith’s one = rubbish. Adele’s one = sub-par. Alicia Keys & Jack White’s one = OK, actually. Madonna’s one = Christ. Tina Turner’s one = the last good one.
Anyway, you get the pattern here, so forgive me for not getting excited about a potential Beyoncé Bond song. I don’t like Beyonce as it is, so colour me minus excited, actually.
But still, supposedly she has her ‘fans’, so I’m sure a potential song will do extremely well, regardless of its quality. A source told The Daily Star:
“The two spoke before Bey’s first meeting with film bosses and Adele told her how co-writing and performing a Bond theme gave her an amazing career hike. Not many of the themes have been as successful – but there are tens of millions of Beyoncé fans out there.”
Not that she needs a career hike, of course. Regardless, it has a good chance of happening – an MGM studio executive added:
“To tie-up a deal with Beyoncé for a theme song for Daniel’s fifth appearance as 007 would really be the icing on the cake.”
Yep, that’ll be the fifth time Craig has donned a suit and adjusted his cuffs in an inappropriate situation as James Bond, making him the actor to play Bond the third most, behind Roger Moore and Sean Connery.
The next film has a good chance of being called Shatterhand, whatever that means, and is looking at a release date of November 2019. It’ll be based on the novel Never Dream of Dying, which was written by Raymond Benson, the author behind Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is Not Enough and Die Another Day (that last one you’ll remember as the one where Bond goes invisible).
Craig aside, other cast members returning are Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw and Rory Kinnear, with Christoph Waltz and Dave Bautista rumoured to be returning also. It would be great to see Dave return, because his character was criminally (pun intended, he was a criminal) underused in Spectre.
Behind the camera, director Sam Mendes will not be returning, but names being floated include Yann Demange (’71), David Mackenzie (Hell Or High Water) and Denis Villenueve (Blade Runner 2049).
So, Bond 25, eh? That’s a lot of Bond. Bond-galore. Are you excited? I am not, but don’t let my indifference affect your enjoyment of it. Get excited, do your thang – it’s good to look forward to things because it makes the crippling realisation that the passage of time is never-ending, a bit easier to digest.