Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Who won the internet this weekend: the man who fought off a shark or Mitchell Johnson?

sharkmitch.jpg

What a weekend it was to be an Australian.

At Lord's their cricket team were putting the Poms to the sword in devastating style, while in South Africa, one of their surfers was proving himself the new Mick Dundee.

But who was the true hero? We investigate.

 


TALE OF THE TAPE


WHO: MICK FANNING

Already something of an Aussie hero, having won the World Surfing Championships three times, this incident will surely elevate him up alongside Kylie and Dame Edna in the ranks of true legends.

As he waited for the first wave in the final of a surfing competition in South Africa, an unmistakable fin suddenly appeared alongside him, before a shark surfaced, attacking Fanning. A wave then appeared, obscuring the view, and it looks to all intents and purposes as though Mick had become fish food. However, it transpired he had managed to fend the animal off, eventually being picked up and transferred to a boat.

He described the incident, saying: “All of [a] sudden, I just had this instinct that something was behind me, and then all of a sudden, I felt like I started getting pulled under water. Then the [shark] came up, and I was on my board and it was like right there, and I saw the whole thing thrashing around. I was getting dragged under by my leg [rope], and then I felt like it kicked me off, but it was still there, and I was still attached to my board. I felt like it was dragging me under water, and then my leg rope broke, and I started swimming and screaming.” He then said that he "punched" it in the back to scare it away - a very good move according to shark experts.

"I had this thought, 'What if it comes around for another go at me?'" he said. "Before I knew it, the boat was there. ...I can't believe it, I was tripping out. I'm totally tripping out."

What a hero.


Who: Mitchell Johnson

Mitchell Johnson

From one dangerous animal to another: he destroyed England in the last Ashes down under, but having struggled badly in his previous tour to England, all eyes were on Johnson - could he be England's tormentor again, or would he wilt in English conditions like last time?

After the first Test in Cardiff, where he was innocuous as England cruised to victory, it looked very much like it would be the latter, but the moustachioed assassin roared at Lord's this weekend, roughing up England and helping the Aussies to blast to a series-levelling win, skittling the Poms for just 103 in their second innings, winning by an almighty 405 runs.

Can England recover? It'd be a brave man who bets against Mitch firing the Aussies to yet another Ashes victory.

And spare a thought for this lady: as if a day spent watching England struggle and the Aussies pile on the runs on Saturday wasn't enough, she managed to miss her seat completely, just as she was shown on the big screen. Howzat for a bit of light entertainment for the crowd?

(Image: Rex)

Related

prayforrain.jpg

5 unorthodox things England need to do to win the Ashes

cricket2.jpg

Sexy Cricket: the Caribbean Premier League gets the party started

Yayes.jpg

10 Sporting Youngsters You Need To Know About

rexfeatures_4796791z.jpg

15 Common Myths Completely Busted

spyfish2.jpg

US Navy Builds Robotic Fish Spy

Camera-Lens-vs.-The-Eye-3.jpg

Awesome Infographic Shows How Cameras And Eyes Work

Comments

More

British people have got so posh we now prefer smoked salmon to bacon

Gone are the days of a mug of tea and a bacon sarnie

by Emily Reynolds
29 Jun 2017

George Osborne has got yet another job. Everyone makes jokes

George Osborne is your dad now. And your delivery man.

by Carl Anka
29 Jun 2017

PETA's new campaign is really weird and people are very confused

What are they trying to say here?

by Emily Reynolds
29 Jun 2017

Tory MPs cheer as they vote to block emergency service salary increase

They've been slammed for being "insensitive"

by Dave Fawbert
29 Jun 2017

People are sharing the cringiest things they've said to their crushes

So much second hand embarrassment

by Emily Reynolds
29 Jun 2017

Amazon's massive Prime Day sale is coming in less than two weeks

Get ready for some deaaalllls

by Carl Anka
29 Jun 2017

Old man rakes in free drinks in Magaluf by looking like Morgan Freeman

You just would, wouldn't you?

by Alex Finnis
29 Jun 2017

This is the spelling rule you were taught that's not actually true

You've been lied to all this time

by Dave Fawbert
28 Jun 2017

Jon Snow says he doesn't remember shouting "Fuck the Tories" at Glasto

Fair enough - nobody remembers what they did at Glastonbury

by Gary Ogden
28 Jun 2017

Time magazine have told Trump to take his fake cover down

They've been habnging in his golf clubs for years

by Dave Fawbert
28 Jun 2017