Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Noel Fielding - yeah, NOEL FIELDING - has been confirmed as the new host of 'Bake Off'


When it was announced that Channel 4 would be taking over The Great British Bake Off, we all knew that they’d manage to fuck it up. We came to terms with that fact it’d never be the same again, and that it would return a totally different, probably slightly weirder show.

But there’s different, and then there’s making-Noel-Fielding-yep-Noel-Fucking-Fielding-the-host different.


Bake Off

I have absolutely no idea how this is actually going to work. All I can picture is him wandering around the tent licking the contestants, hiding in cupboards to jump out and scare Paul Hollywood, and flopping his dick out into mixing bowls when people aren’t looking. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

Bake Off confirmed he’ll be one of the show’s hosts in a tweet, and he’ll be joined by Danish QI host Sandi Toksvig, who I can understand – it’s a totally fine choice. She’s kind of normal. She’s funny. She won’t try and have sex with a Battenburg.

As we already know, Mary Berry is being replaced with Prue Leith, who’s appeared on shows like Great British Menu.

But you don’t really care about that, do you? Because you’re still thinking about Noel Fielding. You’re imagining him ripping down part of the tent and wearing it as a cape. You’re imagining him rolling around on the floor, naked now, for some reason, just covered – properly covered – in cake mixture. You’re imagining the face of Michelle, 54, from Lincoln – an adorable mum who likes to spend her weekends making pastries with her two young children – when she finds out her Victoria sponge is ruined because Noel’s done a shit in her oven.

Channel 4 could not have made a more Channel 4 move if they tried. This might be the most Channel 4 thing that’s ever happened – and yeah, we do remember Naked Attraction. The Bake Off is completely fucked, but also, there is literally no way I’m not going to watch it.



Watch Danny Dyer discover his Tottenham connection in this unseen clip

the judge .jpg

Channel 4's new crime show could become the next big TV obsession


Ed Sheeran has inadvertently revived everyone's favourite hashtag


Jennifer Aniston isn't happy about that wild 'Friends' theory

She responded to opinion that Joey was the real man for her

by Gary Ogden
22 Aug 2017

17 things you might have missed from 'Game of Thrones' S7 E6

Did you spot all these easter eggs?

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017

'Stranger Things' fans - we have some excellent news

We might not be saying goodbye to Hawkins for a while

by Dave Fawbert
22 Aug 2017

Tom Hardy's final CBeebies bedtime story is going to break your heart

Yes, of course dogs are involved

by Dave Fawbert
22 Aug 2017

This 'Game of Thrones' theory suggests the Night King has extra powers

How can he ever be defeated?

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017

This 'Game of Thrones' theory says Daenerys may be able to have kids

It destroys everything we thought we knew

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017

'Game of Thrones' proves Tormund is one of the smartest characters

He's cleverer than he looks

by Alex Finnis
21 Aug 2017

'Game of Thrones' just dropped a gamechanging piece of information

Holy s*** that was a stressful episode

by Alex Finnis
21 Aug 2017

How 'Pimp My Ride' predicted the global financial crisis

The most '00s show of all time celebrated reckless excess over sensible pragmatism

by Sam Diss
21 Aug 2017

This chilling 'Game of Thrones' theory about the Night King has legs

There's some quite compelling evidence

by Alex Finnis
21 Aug 2017