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18 of the most disturbingly absurd Sunday Sport headlines


We live in an era of fake news thanks to the internet, the rise of social media and the general public’s capacity to believe any written word that’s put in front of them.

But all hope isn’t lost. We still have fine, well-respected print publications such as the Sunday Sport, who isn’t afraid to tell the good people of the UK the truth, like the national problems of sex dwarfs being eaten by badgers and working class men severely injuring their bellends.

Stay woke guys. Here’s 18 of the paper’s best stories...

When they revealed the true dangers of children’s accessory trends


And who we’re REALLY gorging on chow mein next to at our favourite all you can eat Chinese


Proving that Brian May doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says don’t cull badgers, because they’re eating too many of our sex dwarfs


Erm...and the same for otters


When they uncovered the sex fiends roaming our supermarkets, keeping us safe from getting an eyeful of penis


Their lifestyle news is groundbreaking, educating us about which Labour MP lookalike bouncers you shouldn’t mess with


They weren’t afraid to talk about the decline of our education system and the lengths that kids would go through to not shit sit exams


Frankly we just feel safer knowing they’re out there getting scum like this off the streets


They’ve put your worries about the afterlife to rest


Because it’s most definitely real and all the greats are there


They’ve shown us what amazing feats humans can accomplish if they just put their minds to it


And they revealed the terrors of travelling abroad that you never even realised could happen


Thanks Sunday Sport for showing us that OAPs aren’t as defenseless and weak as the mainstream media would have us believe


And well done for revealing another perverted children’s entertainment star


That time they revealed how cruel this country could be


But how beautiful it can also be


Thank God for the Sunday Sport


Because regular news is shit and we need them more than ever




The 60 greatest newspaper headline puns


Masturbation breaks at work are good for you, apparently

This is a walrus's 22-inch dick bone.

Finally we have an answer to why humans don't have penis bones



I judged the International Booker Prize shortlist by their covers

So the saying doesn't go

by Gary Ogden
28 Apr 2017

Women fancy men who read and this is the book that impresses them most

But it doesn't work the other way

by Tom Mendelsohn
28 Apr 2017

The Fyre Festival looks like one of the worst events in human history

People have spent up to $12,000 on an unfolding disaster of an experience that you will not believe

by Tom Mendelsohn
28 Apr 2017

Whatever happened to the FA Cup Final song?

Time for the 80s and 90s staple to make a comeback

by Tom Victor
27 Apr 2017

Ray Winstone on family, feminism and how film stars have changed

His wilder years may be behind him, but a return to his roots has given Ray Winstone a new lease of life

by Jimi Famurewa
27 Apr 2017

These iconic album covers look better as children

We couldn't do a version with the Nevermind baby

by Tom Victor
27 Apr 2017

Sir David Attenborough opens up about health struggles

It is taking the 90-year-old longer to write his scripts

by Tom Victor
27 Apr 2017

Watch Mindhorn for FREE with ShortList Film Club

Check out the new film starring Julian Barratt

27 Apr 2017

M. Night Shyamalan announces sequels to Split and Unbreakable


by Gary Ogden
27 Apr 2017

Would you like to see Kermit The Frog cover R Kelly’s Ignition (Remix)

So baby give me that ribbet ribbet

by Gary Ogden
27 Apr 2017