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18 of the most disturbingly absurd Sunday Sport headlines


We live in an era of fake news thanks to the internet, the rise of social media and the general public’s capacity to believe any written word that’s put in front of them.

But all hope isn’t lost. We still have fine, well-respected print publications such as the Sunday Sport, who isn’t afraid to tell the good people of the UK the truth, like the national problems of sex dwarfs being eaten by badgers and working class men severely injuring their bellends.

Stay woke guys. Here’s 18 of the paper’s best stories...

When they revealed the true dangers of children’s accessory trends


And who we’re REALLY gorging on chow mein next to at our favourite all you can eat Chinese


Proving that Brian May doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says don’t cull badgers, because they’re eating too many of our sex dwarfs


Erm...and the same for otters


When they uncovered the sex fiends roaming our supermarkets, keeping us safe from getting an eyeful of penis


Their lifestyle news is groundbreaking, educating us about which Labour MP lookalike bouncers you shouldn’t mess with


They weren’t afraid to talk about the decline of our education system and the lengths that kids would go through to not shit sit exams


Frankly we just feel safer knowing they’re out there getting scum like this off the streets


They’ve put your worries about the afterlife to rest


Because it’s most definitely real and all the greats are there


They’ve shown us what amazing feats humans can accomplish if they just put their minds to it


And they revealed the terrors of travelling abroad that you never even realised could happen


Thanks Sunday Sport for showing us that OAPs aren’t as defenseless and weak as the mainstream media would have us believe


And well done for revealing another perverted children’s entertainment star


That time they revealed how cruel this country could be


But how beautiful it can also be


Thank God for the Sunday Sport


Because regular news is shit and we need them more than ever




The 60 greatest newspaper headline puns


Masturbation breaks at work are good for you, apparently

This is a walrus's 22-inch dick bone.

Finally we have an answer to why humans don't have penis bones



DJ Legend Goldie just accidentally revealed Banksy's identity

That's one big slip up...

by Carl Anka
23 Jun 2017

"Ohhh Jeremy Corbyn!" chant breaks out at Glastonbury silent disco

He's the hottest act of the summer

by Tom Victor
23 Jun 2017

Someone's discovered a £1 million item on 'Antiques Roadshow'

The world's dullest show just got interesting...

by Carl Anka
23 Jun 2017

Johnny Depp goes on rant about assassinating Donald Trump at Glasto

Someone's getting in trouble

by Gary Ogden
23 Jun 2017

This topless man absolutely kicking off at Ascot is pure gold

The Queen was there!

by Alex Finnis
23 Jun 2017

Making a Murderer's Brendan Dassey moves one step closer to freedom

Will he finally get out?

by Dave Fawbert
23 Jun 2017

Ed Sheeran's Glastonbury ride is not at all rock 'n' roll

It's classic Ed, really

by Carl Anka
22 Jun 2017

Brendan Gleeson: "I was thrilled to be cut down by Daniel Day-Lewis"

Brendan Gleeson on being entertained by Gambon and killed by Day-Lewis

by Ralph Jones
22 Jun 2017

Here's your first look at the new zones on 'The Crystal Maze'

It's back on TV this week

by Tom Victor
22 Jun 2017

Does the new 'Game of Thrones' trailer hint at Jon Snow dying again?

It sounds ominous

by Alex Finnis
22 Jun 2017