Gaming

People have been “eating” their Nintendo Switch games and they taste rank

Posted by
Gary Ogden
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Trusty old Nintendo, still using game cartridges instead of discs – keep repping the old school, we love you for it. As will anyone who ever owned a N64, SNES or NES (or any other brand’s cartridge-based console). One particular thing that wallows in the sea of fond memories surrounding such systems was the constant, perhaps futile need to blow on your cartridge if it wasn’t working properly.

Of course, as we’re all humans, once something gets very close to our lips, there’s often (always) a very pressing temptation to put whatever that thing is directly into our mouths. Try blowing on a doughnut without immediately forcing it into your gullet. Same goes for game cartridges, no? Just us? 

Well, clearly not just us, because the internet is currently ablaze with the utter astonishment and disappointment that the Nintendo Switch’s game cartridges taste disgusting. Long gone is the sweet, mouth-watering taste of the NES, or the lip-smacking delight of the N64 – instead, a foul, bitter flavour is on the menu in this digital restaurant.

And here's the official review from Michelin:

Yes, it turns out adults are putting game cartridges in their mouths and then complaining about the taste on Twitter. This is what 2017 is. 

But there’s a reason for the bad taste – it’s basically to stop babies and young kids getting their laughing gear round them. They’re coated in denatonium benzoate, a bittering agent – the same one that people put on their nails to stop biting them. Of course, worms taste pretty bad and kids still eat them, so whether this will actually work remains to be seen.

Also, if anything, the only thing this furore has achieved is making us WANT TO FUCKING PUT A NINTENDO SWITCH CARTRIDGE IN OUR GODDAMN MOUTHS. You could make a pretty sweet Lunchable using these as the ham, Gameboy ones as the cheese and obviously Sega Genesis ones as the bread.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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