Gaming

17 Theme Hospital moments that will give you a Bloaty Head of memories

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Amelia Tait
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Rarely in this life do you stumble upon a memory that fills you with simultaneous joy and post traumatic stress akin to someone who's just had their head popped in the inflator room.

Anyone who's played Theme Hospital is full of such memories, however, as the game was one of few that equally delighted and disturbed. From choosing your doctors based on the size of their green bar, to forgetting to provide a toilet for 200 people, managing a simulated hospital was stressful. We don't envy the NHS.

Here are just a few things that inevitably went down. 

Losing a level and then enduring an inexplicably perverted cutscene about how terrible a doctor you are

Not realising how wildly inappropriate Bullfrog's pop culture references would become

Not realising how wildly inappropriate Bullfrog's pop culture references would become

Kicking out people who are too sick because you are a cruel master of healthcare

Forgetting to hire enough handymen and ending up in a literal sea of vomit

Forgetting to hire enough handymen and ending up in a literal sea of vomit

Getting irrationally angry because you can't fit a fourth bed in your ward

Mercilessly firing people instead of paying them a decent living wage

Mercilessly firing people instead of paying them a decent living wage

Finally unlocking the rat-shooting level but then realising it was an impossible lie anyway

Hiring morally reprehensible doctors out of sheer desperation

Hiring morally reprehensible doctors out of sheer desperation

Getting repeatedly burned by this salty little scientist

Getting repeatedly burned by this salty little scientist

LEAVE US ALONE WE'RE TRYING OUR BEST

LEAVE US ALONE WE'RE TRYING OUR BEST
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Catching sight of a bloaty head man straining on the toilet and losing your innocence forever

Finally realising what "auto-autopsy" machines did and why you had to keep them secret

Finally realising what "auto-autopsy" machines did and why you had to keep them secret

Having an entire room be rendered utterly useless after an earthquake

Having an entire room be rendered utterly useless after an earthquake

Reaching the higher levels and being rewarded with actual aliens in your hospital

Reaching the higher levels and being rewarded with actual aliens in your hospital

Getting mad satisfaction from a good bloaty head popping

Enjoying the subtle digs towards the inferior Theme Park

Enjoying the subtle digs towards the inferior Theme Park

And, of course, feeling inordinate pride after winning awards for your plants

And, of course, feeling inordinate pride after winning awards for your plants

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Amelia Tait

Amelia Tait is a journalist from London who enjoys not writing bios and hates actually writing bios. Follow her on twitter @ameliargh 

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