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You can now buy the old Alton Towers log flume on eBay

This is what your overdraft is for

You can now buy the old Alton Towers log flume on eBay

Because I’m a millennial and therefore spend all my money on… *looks at hand* Tinder superlikes of avocados, I will never own a flat, let alone an actual house. Destined to live in the same damp, boxy flat for the rest of my life, I will never have a lawn to put off mowing or plants to… water? I don’t know, I don’t know what you do in the garden precisely because I will never, ever have a garden. 

If I did, though, I would definitely spend thousands of pounds filling it with weird Alton Towers log flume paraphernalia. 

AND: it turns out that this is a thing I could literally, actually do now, if I had thousands of pounds and a garden with room for various Alton Towers log flume paraphernalia. Which I don’t. 

But if I did:

 

I would definitely buy this.

Or this:

Yes: Alton Towers has put a bunch of its log flume equipment on eBay. 30 flume boats, the height board, the ‘no splashing’ rules – it’s all there. 

The auction is designed to raise money for Merlin’s Magic Wand, a charity that supports disabled children. Bids started at 99p but many items have already hit the £1,000 mark with a week left to go on the auctions.

Alton Towers has suggested a few uses for the old flumes, including ‘period bath tub’, ‘garden planter’, ‘dog bath’, ‘fish pond’ and ‘themed bed’. Reminds us of something...

Sleeping in a single bed made up of an old Alton Towers log flume you bought for over a thousand pounds on the internet: the perfect way to show that Tinder date you’re a viable, long term prospect! 

(Images: eBay)

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