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World’s greatest dad builds a rollercoaster for his son in the back garden

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Gary Ogden
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Your back garden is probably a bit shit, in all honesty. What’s in it? A bird table? Some yellow grass? A jar full of dead wasps and jam? Some turkeys circling a dead cat? It’s crap and you never spend any time in it – no worries though, most people’s gardens are terrible.

BUT NOT THIS BOY’S GARDEN. Because his dad has put all other dads to shame by building a sodding great big rollercoaster in it. Here, look:

When I was younger, we made a backyard ride that consisted of a curtain rail threaded through two plastic garden chairs, which were then spun around whilst someone sprayed a hose at the riders. At the time, it was the best thing ever, but it's utter, utter foxshit compared to the rollercoaster in the above video.

The dad in question, one Scott Brazelton, is a Navy pilot, so doesn’t get a lot of time to spend with his son – as such, he made this into a project between the two of them. Quality time: achieved. Then, while Scott’s away, his son can just bomb round that absolute hound of a ‘coaster and think of how great his dad is – works both ways.

Of course, it’s not that great – there aren’t any loops, for starters, so there’s one strike. Also, imagine a theme park with only one ride – his dad needs to pull his finger out and get a log flume and some river rapids in there pretty sharpish or I ain’t coming and I ain’t bringing none of my mates, neither.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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