Big Night In: All the unmissable TV and movies you should watch this weekend

The weekend is a time for watching things, ain’t it? Watching television, watching movies, and if you’re a big smelly boff, watching documentaries. You may even watch your weird neighbour from across the street putting cat-sized bags in his bin again, but hey, that’s not as fun as the other three - we’re focusing on entertainment here.

So welcome to a new weekly feature here at ShortList.com, in which I’ll take you through all the new and good stuff hitting cinemas, streaming and yes, even ‘television’ (which is some sort of stone-age device carved from pumice stone if I recall).

We’ll bang one up every Thursday, because that’s the day that is closest to the weekend (yes, Friday is the weekend), so here’s all the quality stuff you’ll want to be clapping your big smelly peepers on this weekend:

New at ‘The Pictures’

1.'Ingrid Goes West'
Once more, Aubrey Plaza is playing *shock* an unhinged weirdo, and as always, I am completely down for it. She stars as the obsessive Ingrid, who forms a dangerous infatuation with Elizabeth Olsen’s popular Instagram star. We’ve got one foot in comedy territory here though, so don’t expect a Single White Female type potboiler - this one’s a little different.And as I said, Aubrey Plaza plays an unhinged weirdo, which is something I will forever be interested in. I feel we have similarities in that arena, me and her, MAYBE WE COULD GET MARRIED ABOUT IT.In cinemas 17 November
2.'Justice League'
I mean, best not to check the reviews of this one, but you’re probably going to go and see it anyway, aren’t you? It’s Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, Underwater Man, Fast Man and Robot Man all punching things really hard. It’ll take your mind off that creeping Sunday fear for a bit, I suppose.In cinemas 17 November

New on Netflix

1.'The Punisher'
As we all know, the second season of Daredevil was the best Marvel TV series of all time, and possibly the greatest thing contained within it was Jon Bernthal as The Punisher. A ridiculously perfect fit for the character, Bernthal’s portrayal was such a hit that a spin-off (one that wasn’t originally planned) was commissioned. And here it is, basically.I shall be watching this while screeching through a megaphone - I cannot wait.On Netflix 17 November
2.'Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond - Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton'
When Jim Carrey played Andy Kaufman in the 1999 biopic Man on the Moon, he went full method, maaaan. Like, scarily method - fully inhabiting Andy’s character and by the looks of things, pissing off almost everyone on set. Of course, it resulted in a powerhouse performance, but it’s the never-before-seen, behind-the-scenes footage that is of interest here, in a documentary that flicks between backstage clips and a specially-filmed recent interview with a bearded Carrey.On Netflix 17 November
3.'John Wick'
HEY JOHN WICK IS FINALLY ON NETFLIX SO IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET YOU NOW HAVE NO EXCUSE YOU SLUG!On Netflix 17 November

On the good old-fashioned idiot box

Friday

1.'Defendor'
A bit like Super, a lot like Kick-Ass, but still good. I mean, it’s got Woody Harrelson in it, and he’s not often in anything shit (let’s not talk about Surfer, Dude if we can at all help it). That rule applies here, as he plays a bloke who hits the streets as a vigilante superhero, even though he doesn’t have any powers - you know, like Super and Kick-Ass.On Sony Channel at 9pm
2.'Shut In'
A lovely horror movie for your Friday night, because it gets dark early now, doesn’t it, and once it’s dark you’re only allowed to watch horror movies. This one is about an agoraphobic woman who gets a nasty case of the murderous burglars at the giant mansion in which she lives alone. Only, whoops, the intruders fucking picked the wrong house to mess with, didn’t they?On Film 4 at 11.15pm

Saturday

1.'Death Sentence'
Sometimes, all you need is a simple, straight-down-the-line revenge movie - no pretense, no frills, just a man getting revenge on a load of punks for killing his son. And that’s what you get with Death Sentence. You get Kevin Bacon shaving his head and going on a rampage to shit open the gang that ruined his life - it is hands down one of my favourite revenge films of all time. See it, please.On 5Star at 10.55pm
2.'Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale'
As much as it pains me to admit it: it’s almost Christmas. However, a good way of off-setting all the sparkly mulch that comes with the season is to watch a Christmas film which is decidedly un-festive and light on cheer. Rare Exports is that film - a Finnish curio that focuses on a small town that uncovers the tomb of the real Santa Claus. It’s creepy, funny and unlike any other Christmas film you’ve ever seen.On Film 4 at 2.05am

Sunday

1.'Idiocracy'
Mike Judge, creator of Beavis and Butthead and director of Office Space, made this hilarious satire about a moronic future way back in 2006, but nobody really took any notice, for some reason. Bit of a flop, overall, and that’s ridiculous in my book, because it’s really really good, and it should have done the big guns.Chances are you never saw it (you were part of the problem), so now’s your time, buddy. Sort it out, you still have time to repent.On Syfy at 10.50pm

Think that’s enough to be getting on with. See you in a week, you square-eyed automaton!

Gary Ogden is a former Shortlist staff writer, covering film, music, TV, entertainment, style, lifestyle, food and drink. Gary was previously entertainment editor at Coach.

New at ‘The Pictures’

1.'Ingrid Goes West'

2.'Justice League'

New on Netflix

1.'The Punisher'

2.'Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond - Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton'

3.'John Wick'

On the good old-fashioned idiot box

1.'Defendor'

2.'Shut In'

1.'Death Sentence'

2.'Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale'

1.'Idiocracy'