Lenny Henry put you off staying in chain hotels? Don't blame you, his love for those beds comes across as disingenuous, I don't believe a word he says.
If you're looking for a different kind of experience for your next UK weekend break that doesn't involve stale continental breakfasts and screaming kids, check out what Airbnb has to offer and you could be staying in a castle or your very own pub...
Gothic castle, Cumbria
Originally built in 1841 as a grand gentlemen's folly (whatever that means), you just know this castle is seriously haunted. If you look close enough at any window and really, really squint your eyes, you can definitely see the ghost of a little girl. But breakfast is included and it's like nowhere else you'll ever stay without breaking into Buckingham Palace, so it's really worth being possessed.
Time to head up t' North with your ouija board for only a £160 a night
The Hobbit House, Isle of Skye
Want to get away from it all and leave behind the city, job and Starbucks for a little rural escape? Then this is the place to go, there's not a skinny latte in site here at this luxurious one bed/one bath Scottish hut, which boasts both countryside walks and trips to the beach. Although you might want to swim in a parka though, looks nippy.
Book yourself in at Middle Earth from £70 a night
King's Cross clock tower, London
"What time is it?"
"Look out the window, idiot."
Yes, you can stay in the actual gothic clock tower by King's Cross Station, home to an array of cracking pubs, restaurants and tourist attractions, such as Harry Potter's 9 and 3/4 platform.
But don't worry, it doesn't ring or tick, because that'd just be idiotic to build a home here if so.
And if you miss your train home, you've definitely got time keeping issues.
If it's time to book a holiday, take a look here for a £150 a night stay
Dairsie Castle, Scotland
The ideal location if your a Game of Thrones fan. Imagine running around here dressed as Joffrey chasing your mate dressed as Ned Stark, trying to cut off his head? Good weekend.
Close to St Andrew's and Edinburgh, this would be a great alternative stag do venue, as it sleeps 13 people and has plenty of fishing, golfing and other outdoor activities to take part in.
You know nothing, so click here and stay from £500 a night
Self catering pub, Ireland
Can't go into a pub without getting absolutely steaming? No worries my friend, because your bed awaits you only a few feet away from the bar. Sweet dreams are only a mere crawl away.
It's close to some traditional Irish villages and tranquil scenic hot spots, but for the proper experience we suggest just going on a massive bender and sitting by the real roaring fire all weekend.
Who's next? You are, be a landlord for a weekend from £128
Tree Sparrow House, Cornwall
We'd love to be able to return to a state of childlike bliss and sleep in a blanket fort, but that'd be creepy as hell. Bypass getting your mental health questioned by your friends and family and settle for a trip to the most well structured tree house you'll ever see, situated in the pristine Cornwall countryside where you can cycle, sail and fall flat on your face surfing.
Be Tarzan (without the sweaty loincloth) and book a stay from a £100 a night
Old Smock Windmill, Kent
An out of use windmill that still maintains many of its original equipment inside. This is peak hipster, even more so than living in a canal boat, but its interior is utterly sublime, even though it's as twee as Zooey Deschanel riding a fixie bike in second hand dungarees.
Are you a massive fan? Then stay a night for £170
Butley Priory, Suffolk
A tuned piano, Saxon burial ground and freezing cold ocean is the ideal recipe for a blinding weekend. We recommend spending your time doing Downton Abbey cosplay and putting yourselves into mild dramatic situations, like figuring out who failed to correctly polish the silverware or cooking the beef medium instead of medium rare.
Leave your scummy life behind and be posh for a weekend from £700
Romany Caravan, Bush Meadows
Watched Peaky Blinders and thought, "hey, I want that gypsy life"? Me too, so I'm glad I stumbled across this cosy caravan in Bush, close to Jamie Oliver's and Rick Stein's famous restaurants.
No idea where Bush is, but will gladly go there to tell fake fortunes and for the humorous name alone.
Become a traveler for the weekend from £68
Charlie Chaplin's house, London
Charlie Chaplin lived here with his mother towards the end of the 19th century, and it is said to have been the inspiration for the setting of The Kid. So stick on a fake moustache and fall comically down the stairs all weekend. But maybe take the facial hair off when you go to one of the fine Kennington pubs in the area, just in case someone mistakes you for a well-known Nazi dictator.
Live like the lovable tramp from £195 a night
