The internet is a beautiful place: every book you’ve ever wanted, just a few clicks away; every movie, it’s on there. Need to pay the HMRC? You can do it online. Need to stalk the boyfriend of a girl you dated when you were 14 because you’ve been up all night and the cool hand of death has you tight and you need to know if she really could do better than you? Welcome to the internet. Need a new lamp? Internet.
And now, finally, we’ve reached the top, the pinnacle, the highest level, web's peak. This is the high spot and the highest watermark. This is the online summit, its climax, its crowning glory, the peak of perfection, the apex, vertex, zenith, apogee, ascendancy, upper limit, acme. This is its fucking meridian. This 140,000-frames-per-second video of a hotdog that looks a bit like a dick being shut in a mousetrap is it, man. This is it.
This is what we've been working towards. We did it. Go home everyone. Take the rest of your life off.
As YouTube commenter Jack Li wrote: "I want to see Jackass to put their dick on the mouse trap."
But can you improve on perfection?
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