This is Spencer. A man for whom we have mixed feelings of sympathy and distrust.
Spencer is the star of an episode of the latest series of MTV's toe-crippling dating series, Catfish; the show that somehow still manages to find people who think they're dating their soulmate online, only to introduce them to their beloved IRL whereupon they realise that they've actually been dating a 34-year-old retail assistant called Colin.
In the latest series, Spencer reveals to co-hosts Nev Schulmanand and Max Joseph that he's been dating Katy Perry for the past six years.
Yep. Katy Perry. Katy 'Most Twitter followers in the world' Perry. The global superstar, recently snapped on a beach with an awful lot of her new boyfriend Orlando Bloom. That Katy.
We don't know how to feel about this. Is Spencer an actor, with the entire episode made up to delight fans despite the unshakeable feeling that this is all a joke? Or is Spencer potentially a slightly vulnerable individual with a warped view of reality, whom we're just oggling for entertainment chuckles?
Watch the 10-minute summary of the episode below and make your own minds up. You'll have to seek out the episode on MTV to find out how it concludes.