Picture the scene: a fetid rubbish bin, lid flapping about in the wind willy-nilly. Foul smells emanate from its gaping maw, yes, but it is also singing: singing a song by The Smiths, no less. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MORRISSEY, HERE IS A GARBAGE CAN LIP-SYNCING TO A SMITHS SONG AS IT DRIVES DOWN THE MOTORWAY ON THE BACK OF A TRUCK.
Before we go any further, it’s important to acknowledge that this bin can LIP SYNC. Okay, so it might not be note perfect but also it’s a bin, what the hell do you expect.
But also: this bin’s output is significantly better than Morrissey’s. This bin – a literal bin, guys – has a less toxic output than Morrissey, the actual former lead singer of the Smiths. This bin, as far as I’m aware, has never defended someone accused of serial rape, nor has it advocated for the selection of a neo-fascist as the leader of UKIP. It’s never publicly supported Brexit. It’s never said it “likes Nigel Farage a great deal” or described Chinese people as a “subspecies”. Nor has it ever compared a massacre of children to meat-eating.
What I’m saying, basically, is: this bin for PM, and also to stand in for Morrissey in all subsequent interviews and live appearances. THANK US LATER.
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