Anyone who's had the misfortune of finding themselves in a deluge of daytime TV advertising will be readily familiar with the ongoing domestic war on dirt: kitchens harbouring legions of killer cartoon bacteria, bathrooms populated by unseen armies of slimy germs. Not only are they silly, they're also far cleaner than most of the contents of your pocket.
If the following chart from Master Cleaners lands on the desk of any cleaning marketeers, Countdown breaks would soon be filled with green-glowing smartphones and money laundering services.
Detailing the top ten dirtiest things we touch on a daily basis, this infographic will make you think twice about licking a coin for luck (that's a thing, right?) and eating your lunch at your desk - and should hopefully indicate just how good our bodies are at defending us from the germs we encounter on surfaces that haven't had a dose of chemicals dumped all over them.
The hypochondriacs amongst you best start reaching for your alcohol hand gel...