The BakeOff-ers you’d most want to drink with

Great British Bake Off is back on your telly box. Renew your interest in flour and whisks with these culinary hopefuls…

Tom

Tom, the rascal! He made a gin and tonic curd that tasted of nothing but gin and nearly had Mary on her back. That kind of effort doesn’t work so well in a baking competition, but in our eyes showed dedication; no half measures for Tom. He’ll be the guy coming back with his round and a tray of tequilas we weren’t expecting and don’t want, but Tom knows best, so we’ll chug them down and jump aboard his train to Reckless City.

Choice tipple: Anything. Literally anything

Selasi

There’s never been a cooler contestant on Bake Off. It’s official. Even if Selasi spends the next 10 weeks chewing the furniture while singing Cliff Richard hits and wearing Crocs, he’s built up so much cool stock in week one – with supreme baking, unflappable nerve and a milkshake smooth Ghanaian accent – that his series average would still set a record.

Choice tipple: Something classy 

Val

“I listen to my cakes,” Val said. “They sing,” she said, dancing around the tent, seemingly oblivious to the reality that surrounded her, and not knowing which way up a Jaffa Cake goes. We don’t know if Val drinks, or whether we’d even notice if she did, but let’s just say that we’d definitely be the first in line to sample whatever it is she’s ‘baking’. If you know what we mean, eh?

Choice tipple: Whatever sings the loudest

Candice

It’s a hard trait to quantify, but Candice seems the most ‘fun’. Her devil-maycare attitude, winning smile and amusing verbal expulsions draw you to her, but what keeps you there is the fact that she’s fun with depth, as her showstopper tears proved. Also, it’d make for great chat to say her name in a Boycie-off-Only Fools style voice. “Candiiiiiiiiiice!” we’d say over and over, which makes us ‘fun’, too.

Choice tipple: Taboo and lemonade

Andrew

You need a sensible one in the group, and Andrew is that rock. He’s affable and smiley, but doesn’t drink to excess, making do with two carefully-nursed pints of real ale (nothing over 4 per cent ABV) and the satisfaction of knowing he’s got Tom into a taxi home. But he’s not boring – he makes aeroplanes for a living.

Choice tipple: Twaddington’s Old Felcher

(photos: BBC)