This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links. Learn more

Stoneless avocados are real, and they're here

Maybe the most important invention since the wheel

Stoneless avocados are real, and they're here

We’re living in the future, lads. No two ways about it.

Sex robots. Robots that can backflip. Robots getting TV slots. Basically a lot of robots, which is pretty much what we expected from the 21st Century, so no harm done there.

With all those genius androids stealing the limelight, the pressure’s on us lousy humans to step up to the plate.

Thankfully, after decades of useless inventions like space travel and the internet, we’ve finally landed on something truly noteworthy.

That’s right, stoneless avocados.


To say the stoneless avocado is the best thing since sliced bread is ridiculous. They’re clearly more impressive than sliced bread, and by some distance.

The pride of millennials, scourge of the housing market and still-technically-a-fruit-I-guess has obvious benefits, but also carries its downsides, not least that hard fucker slap bang in the middle of it.

But someone’s found a way to get rid, with stoneless ‘cocktail avocados’ landing on these shores.

No need to cut around the stone and lose all that precious avocado residue. No risk of getting ’avocado hand’ like an idiot.

No need to wash your hands, either, as the skin’s edible too. Yes, you can eat it like a hand fruit if you want.

No hands were harmed in the making of this toast

Marks & Spencer are bringing them to the UK, selling packs for £2 throughout December at selected stores.

And yes, before you ask, they genuinely grow that way. It’s not some trick from the shop where they somehow take out the stone and squish it back together.

Once they’re gone, they’re gone, though. Unless someone finds a way of moving production over here from Spain. Which they will, probably. In fact it’s weird that no one’s managed it already.

(Images: Marks & Spencer/iStock)