You'd be forgiven for thinking this unassuming bit of pavement was like any other up and down Britain, but on Thursday this Cheltenham street was the scene of a modern tragedy, one which touched us all. Someone dropped a whole KFC meal, and they couldn't face salvaging what was left.
Someone dropped a whole KFC meal, and of course the internet absolutely lost it.
As soon as the local press picked the story up, some of Twitter's finest detectives attempted to get to the bottom of it. Who ordered a whole meal from KFC early on a weekday morning, only to abandon it to the ravaging beaks and claws of Cheltenham's pigeons? What startled them so much that they dropped their precious bounty and scarpered? Why hadn't they picked up any sauces to go with that chicken?
Tributes later poured in for the People's Poultry, the Queen of clogged, overworked hearts.
It eventually emerged that this parable for modern Britain, this grotesque nightmare of baseness and excess, was the doing of student Callum Meek. He told the Metro: "Well, it was after a heavy night of drinking for a university social, so on the way home I decided to spend £15 on KFC just for myself."
He added: "I only managed to get through a couple bits of chicken before the bag broke and it ended up all across the floor. I attempted to recover the chicken, but in my drunken state gave up and made my way home."
The paper reported that by 11am only a few chips remained.
Elton John was seen earlier rushing into the studio with a hastily rewritten version of 'Candle in the Wind'. The eventual fate of the chicken remains a mystery.
(Image: Gloucestershire Echo)
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