Now that, despite his protestations, Donald Trump has managed to fall out with Australia – long-held allies and fellow immigration-haters – the race is on to take the top seats at the court of Donnie’s new round table.
Of course, the UK is smugly positioned in the number two spot, Theresa May having decided to put aside such silly notions as ethics and decency to be Trump’s first foreign visitor, but there’s plenty of other spaces vacant for the position of Donald’s best friends. After all, he doesn’t actually seem to have any in real life.
So, hot on the heels of Holland’s bid, via comedy show Zondag met Lubach, to have ‘America first, The Netherlands second’, their neighbours Switzerland, via the Deville Late Night show, have made their own bid to be noticed instead.
Their strong points? They have the ‘best women’, although they ‘love to treat them badly’, while the Netherlands are “so flat. Total disaster”.
Plus, they love gold, just like you Donnie.