In the spirit of remaining impartial, what I’m going to do today is not offer any opinion on anything that happened last night, and instead show you a video of a man accidentally patting a woman’s boob.
That’s what we’re all here for, really, isn’t it? A man going in for a high five but missing the other person’s hand and travelling straight forward onto her breast. A man mistaking a woman’s pointing finger for a raised open palm and returning a non-existent high five, but following through and planting his hand onto her bust.
Jeremy Corbyn slapping Emily Thornberry on the chest.
That's Jeremy Corbyn there, thrusting his arm, hand at a right-angle, straight into Emily Thornberry’s unsuspecting chest. Emily Thornberry, having a lovely time, pointing at Jeremy Corbyn, and then lowering her finger just a tad too soon, enabling Corbyn’s wrist to steamroll through the air above her hand, straight into her.
That's Emily Thornberry, chest forward, celebrating a huge majority in Islington, her right breast entirely unaware of the oncoming juggernaut, unable to brace for the impact of Corbyn’s incorrectly-targeted hand. Corbyn, having too much fun and lackadaisically sending his arm on a misjudged trajectory towards a wholly inappropriate destination.
Exhibit no. 1:
Either way, well done Jeremy and Emily, on both the high five and results front. Mainly for this though:
Coooweee, what a biff!