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The conspiracy theories that Reddit say make too much sense to be ignored

Could these... actually be true?

The conspiracy theories that Reddit say make too much sense to be ignored
02 August 2017

Come on. Don’t pretend otherwise. Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory.

Even if it’s 99% nonsense, well that leaves a 1% chance that it just might actually be true. One in a hundred, that’s quite a lot when you think about it? And that one could be that the moon landings were faked. Or that 9/11 was planned by the government. Although, really, they’re not theories, they’re both scientific fact right. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Anyway, the good people of Reddit decided to share some of the more compelling conspiracy theories out there in this highly entertaining thread – we’ve picked the 17 best ones for your enjoyment.

Are they true? YOU DECIDE.

Hiddleswift Was A Lie

Year: 2016

What ‘the authorities’ say: A whirlwind romance between Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston, with the latter saying after it ended: 'Taylor Swift is an amazing woman. She's generous and kind and lovely, and we had the best time'.

Caliblair: The Taylor Swift-Tom Hiddelston relationship was faked for a surprise album release that got canceled after the Kim/Kanye feud. The initial photos released of Tom and Taylor came from a paparazzi source that had never existed before and only ever distributed/sold photos of the two of them and then disappeared after they broke it off.

Death_proofer: Someone told me it was a publicity stunt so Hiddelston would be more well known so he could play Bond.

SongstressInDistress: This is the theory I heard. Once he didn't get the role, their breakup happened.

BinJLG: There's actually rumors that he didn't get the role because of their "relationship". The studios involved didn't want to be associated with the behavior he displayed while with her.

BinJLG: His behavior when he was with her was also wildly inconsistent with how he was before. He was always a little more reserved with his private life so dating someone like TS who's built a career on publicizing her private life really struck me as odd.

AnGortaMor: A theory I've seen very often is that Taylor is actually gay or at least bi, which is why she has so many of these month long relationships. There's this massive fan theories that she dated Dianna Agron for ~2 years and then another one that she's been dating Karlie Kloss since 2013. I thought it was kind of ridiculous at first but when I read them I'm almost certain that Taylor does prefer women, but for career reasons - especially since she made 4 country albums - she won't come out, anytime soon anyway.

Michael Jordan’s Retirement

Year: 1993

What ‘the authorities’ say: On October 6, 1993, Jordan announced his retirement, citing a loss of desire to play the game. Jordan later stated that the death of his father earlier in the year also shaped his decision. He then signed a minor league baseball contract with the Chicago White Sox on February 7, 1994, before returning to the NBA in March 1995.

Tazzure: Michael Jordan serving a suspension on the down low from the NBA when he went to baseball. The suspension being for gambling. I have my own follow-up conspiracy theory that Jordan's image means so much to modern American athletic storylines and narratives that the big media companies would never look into a story like this to confirm it's veracity, nor would they report on it in that case.

swentech: I believe this one. When you look at how ultra competitive Jordan was - I mean there never has been anyone more competitive and we are to believe that he just decided yeah cool I'm giving up this basketball thing and go play baseball. Come on. Obvious what went down.

Wiitard: He was also a competitive compulsive gambler. He played cards with teammates for real money on planes and buses, and he'd go play the low stakes games with the lesser paid players so he could take their money, too.

TheresA_LobsterLoose: Makes all the sense. He was basketball. During the 90s, the NBA wasn't even remotely close to what it was today. Suspending MJ may have been (perceived at the time as) a death sentence for the league. The same way if the NHL suspended Gretzky... everything is tainted. All the records. Their best player ever. The player who WAS the sport for everyone during that timeframe. It's such a stroke of luck to have a "best player in history" playing in the present. Jordan was bigger than the sport back then. It's... you can't even think of the impact. Millions of suburban white kids like me, we were all collecting his cards because they were gonna be worth thousands of dollars. The NBA was finally getting headlines. The card industry was huge. We were all buying packs of cards thinking we were gonna retire on them. Suspending Jordan back then... it's unthinkable. Short of him murdering someone on video, and maybe even then the NBA couldn't be faulted with attempting to cover it up. You had to be alive to understand how big he was back then. But, if you're the commish, you can't let him bitch slap you like that. You have to take action, so he knows his place. You could not taint his legacy... but he had to know that you (the league) was in charge. They let it slide and slid, gave him warning after warning, he finally pushed the boundaries and forced them to suspend him. I 100% believe this one

Brittany Murphy’s Death

Year: 2009

What ‘the authorities’ say: On February 4, 2010, the Los Angeles County coroner stated that the primary cause of Murphy's death was pneumonia, with secondary factors of iron-deficiency anemia and multiple drug intoxication.

Antihumanityxo: That Brittany Murphy and her husband were murdered. I forget the exact details but I think Brittany was working on a documentary with a whistleblower that worked with a certain part of the government. Then she passed away followed by her husband shortly after, both from pneumonia…

Leohond15: I think it was actually toxic mold. Which sounds even fishier really.

fireandbass: This one caught my attention for a little while a few years ago. From what I remember reading, Brittany Murphy and her husband had become friends with a person (a housekeeper or foreigner working for them maybe) who was in a relationship (married?) to somebody in the Department of Homeland Security or TSA, and that the person in Homeland Security was involved with getting some of the 9/11 hijackers into the country, or something. They had talked about going public, but at some point, one of the other people involved had their house raided by a government helicopter team (possibly framed?) and they were killed, and then shortly after that the Murphy's died. There was somebody who was going to make a tell all documentary about it a few years ago.

Jill Dando’s Death

Year: 1999

What ‘the authorities’ say: On 26 April 1999, Dando was fatally shot outside her home in Fulham, London. A local man, Barry George, was convicted and imprisoned for the murder but was later acquitted after an appeal and retrial. A Yugoslav terrorist connection was initially dismissed by police, but has since acquired more credence. The case remains open.

k-uke: UK journalist and TV presenter Jill Dando was murdered on her doorstep… However she did work on a show called Crimewatch which uncovers crime networks and attempts to solve incidents involving the public. It's widely regarded that it was a revenge attack on Dando’s life… Something more sinister is that she was working on exposing a pedophile sex ring which involved the BBC, whom she worked for. This was about to uncover what we know today. A lot of the powers at the BBC were aware of the likes of Jimmy Savile and covered everything up. People like him had direct access to children. Not just on television, but events, meetings, charity gigs etc. It was common knowledge, covered up and they continued to employ and pay these people. Obviously not everything we know today has been exposed. But the conspiracy is she was working on this story. It would've been huge. As Savile was alive at the time.

Pockets on Women’s Clothing

What ‘the authorities’ say: It’s just fashion, darling.

agentredfbi: That the pants industry and the purse industry are working together to keep women's pockets small in order to force us to buy purses.

magnetopenguino: I see women (mid/upper 20's) post shit on facebook about wanting clothes with pockets semi-regularly. I feel like there's definitely a market. Pockets don't necesarilly have to make clothes look "clunky" either - I mean the front pockets on mens jeans add no bulk and don't stick out or anything assuming they're empty

Entish_Halfling: Have you seen the reaction women have when a dress has pockets? We lose our fucking minds. It's stupidly exciting. Give women clothing with functional pockets and we'll buy the shit out of it.

Manchester Canal Serial Killer

Year: 61 deaths between 2008 and 2014 

What ‘the authorities’ say: Claims of a serial killer have been dismissed by police and town hall bosses, however, who insist each case was isolated.

DMCTw3lv3: One that's ignored here is the one of the Manchester Canal serial killer. The death rate along the canal is far higher than anywhere else in the country (the last count I saw was >70, but there have been a few more since), with the majority of deaths all fitting a similar profile (young, male and been separated from friends), yet every one is dismissed as an accident by the police quite quickly. It's just very unusual. Too many people are dying along the canal for it to be normal.

aohus: its not just in the uk its happening. its happening throughout the world. as you said, victims tend to be bright, athletic, 20-23 years of age. i have an entire google sheets dedicated to this… i've been researching the disappearance of college-aged students. Many go missing late at night and mysteriously drown in a river or canal. It's been going on for years. Simply type 'missing college student river' and you'll see hits.

Chinateapott: God yes, I commented something similar the other week, I live just off J26 of the M62 and the amount of men that have "fallen" into water ways in the area is too high, it makes no sense, it suddenly spiked and then stopped.

Andrew WK is More Than One Person

Year: 1979-present

What ‘the authorities’ say: KING OF PARTYING.

starlaluna: Andrew WK is actually just a character that a few different performers have taken over. When one parties too hard, another replaces him.

cky_stew: Yeah one of them pretty much admitted it in a talk that he wasn't the first and that Andrew WK was a corporate creation.

tc_spears: So long as their love of nyc does not alternate

The First Russian Cosmonauts in Space Never Came Back

Year: 1955-1961

What ‘the authorities’ say: The first man in space was Yuri Gagarin, and he was the first human to attempt it.

MrTagnan: I'm not saying it's true, and I'm not saying it isn't true, but the whole theory that Russia sent other people to space before Yuri but they weren't able to come back so they died in space. I think it's an interesting theory. Similar to the theory that says that Yuri may have intentionally suicided by causing his plane to crash. Again no clue if they are true or not but interesting nonetheless.

Thegreatherakles: Honestly that theory is so fucking scary because you know Russia won't say shit. Also that somewhere in space there are floating undecaying corpse's of lost Cosmonauts

rshorning: ...the Soviet military can and did shit like that in the past in other contexts. Then again, so did the U.S. government in terms of marching battalions through the desert immediately after a nuclear bomb detonation and other crazy shit that shouldn't be tolerated today. The Soviet Union also sent critters into space (specifically Laika the space dog on Sputnik 2) before hand, so the real frontier to cross was sending a person up. As it was, even when Yuri Gagarin was sent up, the recovery of the cosmonauts was so messy that they had to bail out of the capsule on a parachute before it hit the ground. There were many ways that somebody could die with that particular system being used in the Soviet Union for crewed spaceflight, and it is surprising that so many actually survived. I've heard that Star City (the Russian training center for their cosmonaut corps) has a memorial for the cosmonauts who have died in spaceflight including some not officially acknowledged. That isn't exactly a major tourist spot in Russia though.

The Death of Dr David Kelly

Year: 2003

What ‘the authorities’ say: The Hutton inquiry concluded that weapons expert Kelly had committed suicide.

Clean-Cut-Kid85 says: “Dr. David Kelly did not commit suicide mere days after exposing Tony Blair's lies about Saddam's weapons capability. He was murdered.”

Cerling_Stooper: “I remember when this was on the news. My dad said to my elderly grandmother, "I don't think he killed himself, I think Bodie and Doyle [Bodie and Doyle were partners in the TV series The Professionals and worked for 'CI5' (fictionalised MI5), so this man’s dad was saying MI5 did it] killed him." My grandmother had a bemused look on her face for a minute and then said, "I think you're right." He told friends of his that he was going to be killed. When you work in a position like his, you know how the government works, and you know when you've done something that they don't like.”

Matty80: “I remember hearing the news on the radio and the presenter said something like "this is actually getting beyond belief now, like something from a movie" before catching himself and saying that he didn't mean to sound flippant etc. It is the single most obviously suspicious thing in my lifetime and the thing I intended to post in this thread. I'm not a conspiracy theorist in general, but that man was probably murdered.”

Stephen Hawking Has Been Hacked

Year: current

What ‘the authorities’ say: Stephen Hawking is an eminent, 75 year-old physicist.

Destroyer_SkyTDM: Stephen Hawking's chair has been hacked or taken over by AI is pretty neat to think about

Arnold—Palmer: I've claimed in an attempt to be funny that he died decades ago and is just an animated puppet used for his name to push scientific agenda. Now I'm gonna add: "and even if he's not, he's probably been hacked by some manner of AI at this point." Thanks.

Stillwatch: No he's not an AI or something. But there is something weird. His ability to type with his machine has REALLY slowed. To the point single words are his most effective form of communication. Yet he still writes articles and appears on shows. I think he's essentially just forced to go along for a ride and string pullers are now actually writing what he says before hand.

The Sinking Of Titanic was Deliberate

Year: 1912

What ‘the authorities’ say: It sank in the early morning hours of 15 April 1912, after it accidentally collided with an iceberg during its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City.

coconutfriend: The Olympic / Titanic switch is my favorite conspiracy theory! The Olympic, owned by White Star Lines, the owner of the Titanic as well, came in a collision with another ship and the insurers came to the conclusion that it was by their fault. As such, they didn't pay to repair the ship. The Titanic and Olympic were extremely similar, but with minor differences. The company was to go under it they made any more mistakes, as the Titanic sail date was also set back.

With his knowledge they made a plan to "swap" the ships. It's believed by some that the name plates were switched and the new Titanic (previously the Olympic) was to be sunk on purpose to both repair the ship with the insurance money and have the nearly completed former Titanic ready to sail in the future.

It's believed that word got out to some employees and high status folks, leading to the mysterious cancellations of about 50 high profile people. They also did not fill the Titanic to its fullest, making people believe that they did not intend to risk too many lives.

Many valuable items were removed from the new Titanic before it set off.

The lack of urgency also makes a point. The captain waited 35 minutes before the first distress signal was sent during the sink.

Another piece of evidence that points to the swap of the ships is that the closest ship to the Titanic sink point was also owned by White Star Line, the owner of the Titanic [*later the user edited to say that it was not, in fact, owned by White Star Line*]. The ship, called SS Californian, did not contain many passengers but only held 3000 blankets and jumpers. It's said that they planned the sink but the two ships miscalculated the sink point and the Californian did not make it in time to save the in danger passengers.

Though they're are not many pictures of the ships side by side, by looking at the pictures of the production of the ship and the current sunken one, some claim that they notice minor differences. (Window placements and such.)

Catch_022: Hmm, how many passengers did that ship usually carry? Not unreasonable for them to have 1 - 2x the number of blankets versus passengers. Eg: If they can carry 1500 passengers, then 3000 blankets is reasonable. If they could carry 200 passengers then 3000 blankets is susipcious.

0AleMent0: The SS Californian could carry 47 passengers and 55 crew. At least that's what wikipedia says!

JollyHeracross: Those 102 people were either all in on the sinking conspiracy, or they were EXTREMELY cozy at night.

arkNinjaPenguin: Unfortunately this theory falls apart somewhat when you realise that neither Titanic nor Olympic were actually insured for their full value - no ships that size were. There was no way such a scheme would ever be profitable. And the insurance company that would pay out, the Mercantile Marine Company, was actually a conglomeration of shipping lines ... including White Star! They'd literally be scamming themselves! Add to that the enormous amount of materials and manpower that would be involved in switching the ships, which were far from identical, and it all sort of unravels. It's a fun idea but just didn't make any sense the more you think about it.

dcbrown: That's exactly what a White Star employee would say...

Tenacious D Were Lying

Year: 2002

What ‘the authorities’ say: And we played the first thing that came to our heads, Just so happened to be, The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.

WalkingCloud: What if Tenacious D never actually played the best song in the world, they just said they did?

prosthetic4head: Then the demon would have eaten their souls. They are still here, ergo they played the best song in the world.

Dudephish: It all adds up! Look into my eyes and it's easy to see, one and one makes two, two and one makes three.

Eazy-E’s Death

Year: 1995

What ‘the authorities’ say: On March 26, 1995 Eazy-E died from complications of AIDS, one month after his diagnosis – it is believed he contracted the disease and its infection from a sexual partner.

TheTailz48ftw: Suge Knight stabbed Easy E with a syringe that had aids infected blood which in turn killed E later. He pretty much admitted that he did it when he was on jimmy kimmel.

shutyourcheesehole: It's also super likely that Suge Knight played a part in Biggie's death

uhuhuhu: Suge Knight is also probably involved in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

Cereal Packets Are Deliberately Unsatisfactory

What ‘the authorities’ say: They’re grrrrrrreat!

krustygrove: That the cereal industry has calculated the average amount of cereal I pour into a bowl and therefore deliberately fills their boxes with an inappropriate amount of cereal so that the last bowl of cereal I pour from the box is never satisfyingly full enough and thus leaving me wanting to buy more.

_The_Last_Mainframe_: Joke's on them, I eat an entire box in a sitting.

Mick Jagger is Controlled By The Music Industry

Year: 2008 onwards

What ‘the authorities’ say: Mick Jagger is simply an iconic rock and roll star and nothing more.

RamsesThePigeon: The song "Tik Tok," as performed by Ke$ha, was written by a guy named Benny Blanco. Its lyrics include the line "We kick them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."

That's a little bit strange, right? Mick Jagger wasn't exactly at the height of his attractiveness when the piece in question came out. Stranger still, it wasn't the only popular song to paint the man in a pleasant light: "Moves Like Jagger," performed by Maroon 5, was released at around the same time, and Benny Blanco also had a hand in writing that one.

This is where things start to get creepy.

The song "The Time (Dirty Bit)," as performed by the Black Eyed Peas, features the following phrase: "All these girls, they like my swagger, they calling me Mick Jagger, I be rolling like a Stone." It was written by John DeNicola, who used to produce the music for a band called Kara's Flowers... although you might know them better by their current name of Maroon 5.

The song "Heart and Soul," as performed by The Jonas Brothers, contains a verse that ends with "Making mistakes, but that won’t matter, if you can swag like old Mick Jagger." Antonina Armato wrote the piece, and she is managed by Downtown Music Publishing. Care to guess who else they manage? (Here's a hint: It rhymes with "balloon hive.")

This web of connections extends all throughout the recording industry, but one thing remains unclear: What's the link back to Mick Jagger himself? There must be something, because if you have a look at Google Trends, you'll see that his popularity spiked with the release of each song. The only time in recent memory when it has been higher is during a period in March of 2014, when his girlfriend died. Some people have suggested that the man's name is just easy to rhyme with "swagger," but popular usage of the word (in reference to something other than a walking gait) came about after the aforementioned songs had hit the airwaves.

In other words, "Jagger" prompted "swagger," not the other way around.

Why does there seem to be a cabal of artists trying to artificially inflate the performer's appeal and popularity? What benefit is there in promoting an aging rock star? Who is actually behind this odd trend?

In order to answer those questions, we need to turn to Vivendi. This is a company which owns a lot of stuff. Their subsidiaries include DailyMotion, UbiSoft, GameLoft... and the Universal Music Group. The Rolling Stones signed to Universal Music in 2008. In 2010, all of the songs listed above were released.

Look at those Google trends again. 2008 marked Mick Jagger's lowest ever dip in popularity, and the slump continued until February of 2010 (right after "Tik Tok" became the most popular song on the radio). In September of that same year, The Rolling Stones re-released their rare concert movie, securing the number one spot on four different countries' charts - the US and the UK being two of them - second place on four more, and a Double Platinum certification in Canada.

Strangely enough, though, the only other place (besides the United States) where Platinum status was achieved was in France... which is where Vivendi is located.

What if all of this was carefully planned and executed?

What if there's a shadowy organization that's intent on promoting Mick Jagger for their own profit?

What if I made all of this up on a whim, and just found whatever tenuous evidence I could to support it?

TL;DR: Mick Jagger is a puppet of the recording industry.

gitsgrl: Now do one about Michelle Pfeiffer being mentioned in a few different songs a little while back.

RamsesThePigeon: "Michelle Pfeiffer" is a slang term for cocaine.

FakeChiBlast: So she's a secret leader in the cocaine in industry?

There is Only One Olsen Twin

Year: 1986 onwards

What ‘the authorities’ say: There are two Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley.

M1ghtypen: Lets get real here. We all know that the Olsen twins are just one girl moving back and forth really fast, right?

Michael Jackson Was Chemically Castrated

Year: 1958-2009

What ‘the authorities’ say: Michael Jackson was a perfectly, er, normal adult.

IAlbatross: Michael Jackson's weird behavior and strange health problems can all be attributed to his being chemically castrated. His whole thing about being a kid? Yeah, he was literally a kid. He was chemically castrated to keep his voice high-pitched. This explains his lack of secondary sex characteristics and wouldn't be all that strange considering all the other shit his father put him through to ensure the success of the Jackson 5. There have been multiple books written on this topic and it seems very plausible to me.

Not_Allen: Except I personally know an old musician (won't name drop) who claims that when he would call Michael Jackson on the phone, Michael would answer with that affected falsetto that he's known for, then when he realized who he was talking to, he code-switched right over to sounding like an adult black man. I'm a rando on the internet, and I don't intend to give any proof of who told me that, but I consider him to be a reliable source on this. Michael Jackson was a weird dude, but the voice was just an affect.

(Images: 20th Century Fox/Mart/iStock/Rex)