News

This angry rant about ‘BREAKING NEWS’ push notifications is both hilarious and accurate

Posted by
Tom Victor
Published
bbc-breaking

There are two ways of dealing with something which annoys you, but is fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

The first is to ignore it and concentrate on stuff that, y’know, actually matters.

However, if we were writing about someone who did that then it wouldn’t make for much of a story, would it?

Instead we’re focusing on someone who has opted for option two, also known as GETTING REALLY ANGRY AND SHOUTY ON THE INTERNET.

So, what’s the entirely sensible subject matter for this rant? Political scandal? Famine? Someone not wearing enough poppies? Nope, it’s none of these things – instead it’s the huge topic of breaking news alerts.

breakingnews

The breaking news graphic can be handy for getting across big news stories, especially when there’s no readily-available photos to hand.

Still, yes, maybe people are going a little too far when deciding what warrants the breaking treatment - especially when sent at 6.30 in the morning.

Redditor OptioMkIX, really wasn’t happy to be served a ‘breaking news alert’ about what he’s described with great specificity as “some void in the Pyramids of Giza”.

“They’re fucking thousands of years old and made of stone,” he writes, accurately.

“They’re not going anywhere. And this study has apparently taken over two years.

“How is this news urgent? Its not a terrorist attack. Its not a pandemic, epidemic or ‘put your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye because X country just launched all their nukes.’”

It’s as if someone has distilled the essence of ‘your dad’ and injected it into the internet and, quite frankly, we’re enjoying watching it all play out from a distance.

And yes, it gets better.

“It’s HOLY SHIT BIG FUCKING NEWS oh hey you know those pyramids that have always been there? Somebody’s found something a bit off,” he continues.

But as someone else on Reddit points out, is he still going to be downplaying the appropriateness of the news alerts when it turns out ‘some void’ was actually caused by aliens?

That’s what I thought.

(Images: BBC)