On 20 January 2017, Barack Hussein Obama will close The White House doors for the last time.
The United States of America will bid farewell to a president that’s introduced affordable healthcare to the millions, successfully navigated through a crippling recession, legalized same-sex marriage and so much more.
But on top of all his professional achievements, Americans will lose, unquestionably, the coolest POTUS of all time. From on-screen triumphs like his Between Two Ferns interview and Jimmy Kimmel’s 'Mean Tweets' skit, all the way down to bossing podium speeches by either brushing dirt off his shoulder à la Jay-Z or actually mic-dropping to conclude his final correspondents’ dinner, POTUS nailed it.
An Obama-free political landscape already feels like a pretty beige prospect, right? Well actually, wrong.
From snowboarders to cosmonauts, hero comedy writers to actual battle rappers, these are the coolest politicians from around the world that we’d happily high five rather than handshake once ‘Bama’s out for good.
Political credentials: Current Prime Minister of Canada and leader of the Liberal Party.
Cool credentials: The Ottawa-born Premier may have been in the big seat for under a year, but he’s already got hearts fluttering around the globe as one of the ‘sexiest politicians in the world’ according to The Mirror. And while women love him, men want to be him. Why? Maybe it’s because he absolutely rips on a snowboard, having been an instructor in world-famous resort Whistler. Maybe it’s because he’s got a tattoo of a weird native eagle thing on his right arm. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because he skateboards to work. Dude. Duuude.
Political credentials: Candidate for Democratic nomination for US President; senator of Vermont, USA.
Cool credentials: Picture Chancellor George Osborne, a man who can’t even speak to children properly, high-fiving a grime artist. Or envisage Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, who’s taken the cockney rhyming heat off James Blunt, knocking fists with Laura Kuenssberg after a BBC News interview. Not working, is it? Can’t see it, can you? What about Bernie Sanders? Oh, wait, you don’t need to imagine it, because he can’t stop utterly nailing ghetto handshakes and fist bumps with the likes of rapper Killer Mike. Look at him go!
Pic: YouTube/Killer Mike
Political credentials: US Representative, Democratic Party.
Cool credentials: Anyone that battle-rapped under the name “Juggernaut” in the 90s is cool with us.
Political credentials: Senator for Minnesota, USA
Cool credentials: Even if you’ve never seen a single episode of late-night US sketch show Saturday Night Live, you’ll have felt its impact. Comedy powerhouses like Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase or Bill Murray all cut their teeth there, and Al Franken was the guy employed to write their gags. His 12-series stint at SNL earned him no less than seven Emmy nominations.
Political credentials: Governor of Idaho, USA
Cool credentials: His name is Butch Otter. BUTCH OTTER, like what we’d absolutely call ourselves if we were a belt-winning heavyweight boxer from the fifties. It makes us all feel a little stupid for thinking UKIP’s Mark Reckless was a well cool name, doesn’t it. Coming in a close second though, is the 67-year-old State Treasurer for Alabama. His name? Young Boozer. Thank you, America.
Political credentials: Labour MP for Streatham, UK
Cool credentials: Desert Island Discs isn’t a light-hearted lifestyle feature on BBC Radio 4. Nuh huh. It’s a political bear trap. There it is, just waiting for MPs to walk into as they hum the tune of Angels by Robbie Williams (Ed Miliband), Get The Party Started by Pink (David Davis), or Shakira’s Waka Waka (Nick Clegg) before being cut to ribbons by the razor-sharp public. One MP that would leap majestically over such a trap is Chukka. This former DJ ran his own garage nights in Manchester while at uni there, and is phenomenally clued up when it comes to ragga, jungle, hip hop, and the UK garage scene. Yes Chukka! Yes!
Political credentials: President of Indonesia
Cool credentials: Joko Widodo – fighter for the rights of the poor. Joko Widodo – squeaky-clean, anti-corruption hero of the people. Joko Widodo –knower of all the words to Damage Inc. by Metallica. This self-confessed metalhead is regularly seen losing his shit at gigs, has listened to thrash and heavy metal since the age of 14, is a big lover of Megadeth and Napalm Death, and owns a bass guitar given to him by Metallica bassist Rob Trujillo. See you in the pit, Widodo.
Political credentials: Czech Republic Ambassador to Russia
Cool credentials: Dude’s been to space. He’s a freakin’ former cosmonaut, yo.
Political credentials: Leader of the New Power Party, Taiwan
Cool credentials: Lead singer of Taiwanese heavy-metal band Chthonic, who have such ditties as Onset of Tragedy, Indigenous Laceration and, our personal favourite, Supreme Pain for the Tyrant. Lovely.
Political credentials: Libertarian who runs for US President in every election
Cool credentials: Carries a giant toothbrush everywhere and wears a wellington boot on his head. That’s cool, right? Huh? What about promising to make it mandatory to brush your teeth if elected? Or promising to invest in time travel research? Or to plan a counter strike against the inevitable zombie uprising? Giving every American a pony? No? Really?
Pic: Facebook/Vermin Supreme